Saturday Girl~

Happy Birthdays!

2008-10-22T14:36:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Signal Fire Snow Patrol

Random thought: I want to eat ice cream.

Gah! I am tired. It was queing today. 45 abandoned calls! And to think that last week we can finish the day with 5 or less. And most of the customers I got are so &^%$&%#$! I barely lose my cool but today I did. But since I had to still be little miss nice to our customers I had to make do with cursing while pressing on the mute button or throwing the mouse, or my headset, or kicking the trash bucket under my table. LOL. I know it's totally immature. It was a little stressful today but I'll be ok. On the upside, I got really good stats this month. But it kinda ticks me off that my supe barely have time to coach me. Last week I asked her when is our next coaching session she answered: "Yung may kailangan muna." Which is so not fair. I know I am doing well. But I don't get any feedback at all. I know my other team mates who are struggling need help but I need attention too! I want to perform better. And I can't do that if they don't tell me what else I need to improve on. *sigh*

Anyways. My weekend was bitin. Watched Max Payne with Bebu after I got off work Friday. It was so-so. Then Bojo and I went to LU Live on Saturday. It was fun seeing all our HOL™ guildmates again and meeting the others we haven't met before. Also, I got to see my old RF buddies! I kinda felt sad because we weren't able to go Sunday. But all is good. HOL-PW won the Phoenix Council War Championship! That's back 2 back Championships, 2 years in a row. This year they won a whopping 200k Cash Prize. And we(the guild - HOL) has got bragging rights for one more year! Haha :)

I was supposed to go to the RRD party Saturday night. They asked me to present the awards but I ditched it. Haha! I'm not big on parties and I would rather be with my guildmates than go to that party. Bojo and I spent Sunday lazing around in our own little space. Then I had to go back to Manila early Monday morning to start work again.

2 more work days before I call it a week. I can't wait for Friday. I miss Bojo. I miss having him take care of me. During the weekdays, it's just me looking after myself. But weekends it's different. He's there from the moment I wake up until before I go to sleep. Heck, their Internet is down so I wasn't able to talk to him today much. I miss my bebu. *sigh*

For lack of better things to do, I logged on to PW and ended up buying 2k gold worth of dyes. I left Soulrun vending in DC West while I'm writing this entry. I prolly will play CK once I'm done posting.

Anyhoo, my baby bro turned 16 the other day. He wanted basketball shoes. And boy oh boy! Men's shoes are expensive! Also, my today is my Dad's birthay! Sooo..

Happy Birthday Tatay and Dong-Dong!

Pre-LUL Rants and Raves

2008-10-16T18:49:00.001+08:00

Listening to: Bebu's Newest Song

I just woke up. Well kinda just woke up. Round 45 minutes ago.

The slight headache I was nursing while I was on my way home went from moderate to worse by the time that I got to Pasig. I tried eating some lunch but my stomach won't take it. I ended up barfing the few spoonfulls that I ate. Anyways, throwing up cleared my head a bit. But not enough. So I decided to go to sleep for a while - whoich worked since I woke up 3 hours later feeling good in the head but with a growling stomach. But that's already taken cared of since I just finished eating El Diablo with rice. I'm an almost happy camper.

I feel kinda bad. One, because my PTO for Monday was not approved and two so was my trade on request for that same day. I CAN'T COME TO LU LIVE ON SUNDAY!!!! It pissed the hell out of me at work when I found out (which I think contributed to the headache). Anyways, I can only make it on Saturday. Which is fine. But wanted to be there on Sunday because HOL-PW's match will on that day. And I'm sure they are all gonna go somewhere after the event. I wanna be in teh pictures! Lawl. I'm excited for LU Live though. It's the first time HOL's gonna have a booth. And Voxie is coming all the way from Cebu! Yay! I'm finally gonna see my HOL lil bro! :)

I wonder how I'm gonna sleep now. I have work at 2am later. I gotta be up by 12:30am. Sheesh.

But I'm glad it's almost Friday. I am meeting Bebu to watch Max Payne after I get off work. Someting to look forward to. :)

My Blog is Alive - Again!

2008-10-15T16:18:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Bebu Singing

I just edited my blog layout! <3~

Yay! Bebu recorded a new song today! *wub*

Anyhoo, I'm drained. I can't think of a coherent post. Maybe tomorrow. Haha.

AKLAN NEEDS HELP: The Aftermath of Typhoon Frank

2008-06-27T13:02:00.000+08:00

I don't know why it took me 4 days to write this. Probably because I am still in shock.

Monday, June 24. Around 5pm I got a text message from my sister Mae. She informed me that our house in Numancia, Aklan was flooded all the way to the roof and practically everything in it was ruined. There's no power and only Smart is working. All their phones at home were post paid Globe. Good thing my sister had an old smart sim that's why she was able to text me when cellphone signal came back. My family owned that house for more than 10 years and this is only the 2nd time that the flood reached our area. The first time was back in 2006 but the water only got waist deep. According to my sister's account, during the storm they have secured our appliances and had them stored on top of the double deck in our room but it was useless. In around 30 minutes the water surged so fast they only had time to secure themselves and some personal items before they took shelter in my Auntie Diding's house next door. According to my sister, 36 people from different families in our subdivision took refuge in the 2nd foor of my Auntie Diding's house. 36 people. It's a miracle it didn't collapse. My parents were in the process of extending our house. Construction was ongoing in the vacant lot at the back of our house for the 2nd floor extension. It didn't survive. My sister told me Monday there was 6 inches if mud they had to clear from the house. She was wearing a shirt brought by Auntie Lily because all their clothes were muddy and dirty. Our cousins from Lezo came Monday to help them clean up. I thought I was ok. But when I went to bed, I couldn't stop crying. That night, I prayed. Admittedly, I haven't prayed for a long time. But that night I did.

My sister told me that on Tuesday, June 25 she and Inday (our neighbor's helper) walked for 4 and 1/2 hrs from our place to Kalibo and back to look for food. They had to walk because there is no transportation. Everything was closed and Kalibo too is covered in mud. On the way they saw dead bodies and overturned cars. Yesterday my sister told me her phone is running out of battery and she needs to look for a place to charge it. This morning, she texted me again to ask for prepaid load because there's no place to load up. She told me they had their phones charged at one of our neighbor's who had a generator for 30 php! Also, she said rice cost 150php per ganta (2.2 kilos). Which is ridiculous! My sister was asking if I could send them some goods since everything really is way too expensive in Aklan. Banks are closed in Kalibo. According to her only Western Union is open in Numancia. Good thing one of my sister's friends will be coming home tomorrow so I can send some stuff for them.

I don't have any chance to watch the evening news since I am usually asleep by 6pm because my shift starts at 2am. For the past few days, I have been religiously reading internet articles about how badly Typhoon Frank had damaged Aklan. It's devastating to know that they will be out of water and eectricity for a month! It's a good thing we have a "poso" at the back of our house, my family still has a source of water if that's any consolation. I told my friend Cherry yesterday that yes, I am worried. But I know my parents are good people and people will help them. But then, the thought struck me. The whole province is in a state of calamity. How can they help when they too, do not have anything? :(

Below are some pictures taken after the storm:

I am appealing to whoever will be reading this to please extend some help in any way that you can. People in Aklan need clean water, food, and medicine. Spreading the news so more people can know about Aklan's plight will help a lot as well as your prayers.

Aklanon Students in Metro Manila have put up the Sagip Aklan group. You can contact the following people for any form of help that you are willing to extend:

Celeste Refendor, Aklanon Representative UP Diliman, 0927.253.3661
Jerald Benedict Equina, Aklanon Representative UST, 0915.707.9685
Miguel Miraflores, Aklanon Representative, Mapua Institute of Technology, 0917.881.0524

I am also working with my fellow Aklananons here in Manila in searching for people who are willing to extend medical help to the people in our province since our Provincial Hospital is in no way capable of caring for the sick. If you know anyone who can provide medical assistance, below is my contact information:

Michelle Anne J. Teodosio

SME, PeopleSupport Phils, Inc.

0906.330.5062

angelfyre005@yahoo.com mteodosio@peoplesupport.com

Thank you. Any form of help will be greatly appreciated.

10th on the 9th

2007-10-14T11:58:00.000+08:00

Listening to:

It's been a while since my last update. I've been kinda busy lately. Work is challenging, but I'm enjoying it. My 5th month appraisal is coming up. I'm know I'm doing well but I wanna do better. I'm lucky my sup is really keeping an eye on my stats and helping me improve.

Reason why I wasn't able to update is because I spend my time online playing Perfect World. My YoaJing is finally at level 53! Yay. Anyhoo, all my other guildmates are in their 70's and 80's. I'm technically still a lowbie. LOL. :D

Souly in a Feather Plume Set

Souly in Pink

Speaking of my guild HOL, we won the server champion title (PW Dragon Server!) Our best warriors are competing against Mythical from Tiger Server. I'm excited. Can't wait to go to LU! Live 2007. I'm not sure when bojo and me are going though. That would depen on our schedule. Though it would e really nice if we could be there on Sunday, Nov 4 since the finals for the Jade Nightingale event is gonna be on that date. I wanna see my guildmates in action! Anyhoo, bojo and I made a few designs for the HOL LU! Live Shirt. Lookie:

Blue Shirt w/ HOL Logo

Blue Bully Shirt

Pink Shirt w/ HOL Logo

Pink Fear teh Bunny Shirt

After my shift last Friday, bojo and I met up at SM Fairview. Sort of a late 10th monthsary date since we didn't have time to celebrate Oct 9th. We had a very pleasant lunch at Kenny Roger's. Then we watched Resident Evil 3: Extinction and Stardust back to back. I had a blast. I was flinching for most part of Resident Evil and I was grinning while watching Stardust. We made it home round 10pm. I showered then went to bed. No dinner, I was too exhausted! Haha.

Saturday we had lunch at Jollibee, 2 piece chicken galore! Then we spent the afternoon watching House Season 3. Bojo has this thing of imitating Dr. House, I don't know if I should be laughing about it or get irritated. Because he really sounds like House. He even got the facial expressions right! =)

Anyways, aside from imitating the crippled and uber sarcastic doctor, bojo's been busy developing his game Eternity: Sypmhony of Dreams. I saw how hard he's working on it and I think it really is turning out ok. Also, I'm thrilled that he's going back to school next week.

Well, I guess that's it for now. Back to bonding with bebu. I've only got a few hours left before I go back to sleep. I gotta be up by 12:30 am and be at work by 4am.

Saturday Girl

2007-09-15T12:39:00.000+08:00

Yay it's saturday!

Woke up around 8:30, after sleeping for 14 hours! I've made up for all the stress and the lack of sleep for the last week. Grabe, when I got here (Bulacan) yesterday afternoon all I did was sleep! I didn't even eat dinner. Although I could remember bebu trying to wake me up several times so that I could it. He said I turned kiddie mode on him, then went back to sleep! Haha! Bebu and I went out to have brunch at Chowking, then we went to buy some groceries. And mango ice cream! The weather is really hot lately, reminds of summer and how we always had ice cream almost every day.

Bebu showed me the Fate Stay Night graphic novel that he's been reading. Also told me a lil something about the story. And right now I am waiting for PW to patch so we could have updated version of the client since the old one won't allow me to look into the item mall. Soulrun's already 45. Thank goodness! I think I'm gonna stay there for a while and just farm. I wanna prove to myself that I am able to make yuans from farming. Everything Souly is wearing right now is from the item mall. Haha! Tamad kasi ako magfarm. XD

Anyhoot, I'm getting the hang of my account. And I think I am doing good. My sup seems to think so. And I got 2 perfect customer satisfaction surveys last week. Which is really nice. :) I ask lesser questions everyday. I'm really set on making good my first 3 months, so that by December I could apply for a position in the Training Department.

I think that'd be all for now. :)

Just Because

2007-09-04T16:48:00.000+08:00

Finally! An update! *giggles*

Anyhoo, I was uber busy the past month. Buti na lang nakaluwag na sa sked! Haha! Travelport CST was finally over! And I finished on top of my class! *grins* All the stress and hard work paid off! I started my stint in Ops yesterday, and I am stuck with a 4am to 1pm shift. Bummer. Good thing I have Saturday and Sunday for rest days. Makes it almost worth it. Haha. Speaking of my shift, it's really weird to walk out of the house at 3am. Halos walang tao sa kalsada. It's kinda creepy. At 2 am, even taking a shower is creepy. I had to turn the TV volume louder than usual. (Yeah, duwag ako minsan!)

For the past couple of days, I've received comments from people saying that I am gaining weight! w00t~ This is actually a good thing because I have always been too skinny. If I may say so, I think I did gain a few pounds. Some of my clothes won't fit anymore and I gained an inch on my waist! Hahaha! And my arms! Haha! Lumaki mga braso ko. And I have bilbil already! Bebu has been teasing me about it. Haha! Di lang naman ako ang tumataba! Yung iba diyan lumaki din ang tyan! Pfft!

I wore wedge shoes to work today. I passed by the mall yesterday and I just had to have them. For the first time ever I wore heels! If only my mom could see me now I think she'd be really happy to see me 3 inches taller! Thea said I looked good wearing wedges. I think I'd stick to them for some time. It's not uncomfortable at all, unlike what I previously thought. Heck. I used to fear wearing heeled shoes. But now I'm wearing one. Just because.

I can't believe it's September already! Gotta save up for Christmas presents!

I feel kinda bad though that I can't go home to Bulacan midweek. It's hard to travel to back to Manila at 2am so that I could make my 4am shift. The bus ride is scary. Haha.

Anyways, I was able to catch up a lil bit on my PW leveling. I hit lvl 40 today! Weee~ I moved to HolyOrder(zero), the guild's extension because back at the main clan, I was sooo outleveled. I can't find people to help me with my quests! Haha!

Bojo's been busy too. He has this project with RPG maker where he's making his own RPG. He designs the maps, character sprites, battlers, scripts and what have you's. I think it's really cool, although I can't understand half of what he's doing. But I got to see the demo and I think it's really neat. Can't wait for him to finish the whole thing. Also, he made an animated PW siggy for me: Lookie!

PW siggy by bebu~

Soulrun w/sun background

Soulrun w/cherry blossoms background

Soulrun w/moon background

Fun & Games

2007-07-28T19:17:00.000+08:00

Listening to: I Could Not Ask for More by Edwin McCain

I'm just so happy right now. It makes me wanna listen to this song over and over again. I love my weekends. :)

Friday (ATP day) has come and gone. Thank goodness no one from the HR dep't barged into the training room. 3 more weeks of CST. I hope all 22 of us makes it.

I got to Tungko around 12 MN last night. The bus ride was scary. The driver was rather reckless. I lost track of how many times almost collided with another vehicle. When I got there, Bojo wasn't there yet so I had to wait for a few minutes. When he arrived, we had a very late dinner then went home. This week was a good one for us, since hindi ko sya inaway. Hahaha. We spent a couple of hours talking and catching up before we finally fell asleep around 3. Turns out, EVE has got him hooked! As for me, I finally got to level 12 in PW. Yey! 8 more levels to go before I could have a baby dudu bear, or at least a golem. Also, alquanna mailed me her old staff and clothes. Thankies clara! I wanna get to level 3 so I can buy me a Swan!

Anyhoo, GM Gaea is stepping down as the Community Manager for RF Online - Philippines. GM Cydie will be taking her place. I still don't know when I'm coming back to RF. Danjo told me that people have been asking him about when I'm playing again. I really don't know yet. I'm gonna try PW first and see how it goes. Actually, Thyalla and Ryu are planning an inter-racial/inter-server EB soon. They're meeting at Eastwood today, too bad I can't make it. Hope it pushes through though.

Hmm, I think that's it for now. It's bebu's turn to play EVE. He just bought me a pack of chocolates. Ain't he the sweetest?

Stats and Stuff

2007-07-25T23:19:00.000+08:00

Listening to: All at Once by The Fray

(I heard this song a while ago and it reminded me of Cherry and what she's going through right now)

Some stuff I learned today:

Geez. MySpace deleted 29,000 Profiles of Convicted sex offenders. *shivers* (Full Article: HERE)
Oprah is still the highest paid TV star, earning an estimated $260 Million a year! (Full Article HERE)
Best estimates for personal physical space place it at about 24.5 inches (60 centimeters) on either side, 27.5 inches (70 centimeters) in front and 15.75 inches (40 centimeters) behind for an average westerner.
I got a perfect score on 2 out of our 3 TP quizzes so far. That's 66.66%.

Happy 17th Birthday Koko~

Nerdy, OG, Perky ME!

2007-07-24T23:10:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Stolen by Dashboard Confessional

(Scribbled on my TP Notebook)

Earlier today I did say that I was gonna make an update so here goes.

We're having tech problems with out NT log ins so I have some spare time. Might as well compose an entry.

Anyways, yesterday was my first day of CST (I won't mention which account just yet, I might spoil it again!). And for the nth time we had do the introduction thingy. For our exercise we had to pick a partner, and we had to tell the whole class what our first impression was of our partners. My partner was Virma. Her first impression of me was that I am demanding. Well, that's true for the most part. Coz I always expect the best from people. Also, what struck with her was the fact that I am an OG (online gamer). Also, when I started introducing her, my trainer had to interrupt and comment on how perky I am. I was like "Uh, me? Perky?" And they all said "YES!". I was kinda surprised. I've always thought of myself as a laid back kind of person. But now I know that I have a default mood: perky. Haha. Also, I got the chance to talk to some of my AOL batchmates (who are now stuck with WaMu) about their first impression of me. Both of em said that the first time thet heard me talk, they thought that I don't know how to speak in Tagalog. I literally LOL'd when they said it. Apparently, the accent/twang kicks in automatically when I start talking in English. X, one of my E136 batchmates also mentioned that he thought I am nerdy. I think I'm ok with that. We had a quiz today and I was the only one in the class who got a perfect score. I like being smart :)

On other things, I'm quite disappointed that they still do not have PW OB installed in Ingen 2 when they have it Ingen 1 since the 19th. Souly's stuck at level 7. I wanted to get to level 20 at least so I could get me a baby dudu bear, and also start leveling my crafting. Heck, I wanna get to level 30 alrady so I could buy a flying mount! By the way the Clan (HolyOrder) is level 3 already. Bojo and I are both guilded so Yey! There's just so many people I could barely tell who's who. When I logged in for a bit last Sunday there was more than 45 people OL. And it was kinda hard to keep track of the conversation, especially because I was busy trying to finish my Pet Taming Quest and wasn't really paying much attention.

Also, peole have been changing layouts! Bebu, Sean, Zeekie and Rei changed their layouts too. In thing? XD

Goin Grunge

2007-07-24T11:35:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Soak up the Sun by Sheryl Crow

Yay! New layout!

Anyways, I was just reading this:

An armed gang of four kidnapped one of the world's top RPG gamers after one criminal's girlfriend lured him into a fake date using Orkut, Google's social network. After sequestering him in Sao Paulo, they held a gun against the victim's head for five hours to get his password, which they wanted to sell for $8,000. And yes, the story gets even better.

Surprisingly enough, after five hours the hostage wasn't talking. The group leader had a gun against his head all that time but the guy didn't say a word. At that point, the crooks gave up and decided to let him go. The brazilian police then caught the four suspects, aged 19 to 27.
According to the police, the captive is the world leader in GunBound, a turn-based RPG-style multiplayer online game. Developed in South Korea, in this artillery game you get more experience points, offensive and defensive capabilities depending on your skills during battle, as well as money to buy more weapons, armor and all kinds of gear for your multiple avatars. You can only play with one of your avatars each time, but all of them belong to a single account.

The game looks to be quite popular, so the four gangsters decided they could make some quick cash if they kidnapped him to steal his user. Their plan: use one of the criminal's girlfriends, called Tamires, to get him into a date using Google's online social network Orkut, which is also extremely popular in Brazil. After contacting and seducing him, she told the GunBound wizard to meet her in a shopping mall.

But she never appeared. Instead, Igor the boyfriend did. Gun in hand, he abducted and held the player prisoner, planning to rely the password to his mates using a cellphone. Against all odds, our hero (or very stupid guy) resisted. Probably using some Stamina +357 spell. Or a Big Cojones +577 mana potion.

Whatever he did to resist the torture for a stupid game password, boys and girls, there's a moral to this story: if you live in Brazil, keep playing Tetris.

Source: Click this.

I was s'posed to do an update but heck. I'm lazy. Maybe later.

Perfect World

2007-07-22T21:48:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Bebu (While he's taking a shower)

It's been quite a rough week really. Work was crazy. I am officially gonna stop talking about my account transfers unless I know for sure that I am gonna stay there for good. Plus, bojo and I had a fight over that entry before this one. But we're over it. We're having a fantastic weekend.

He's in the shower right now. I might as well blog before he shoos he away :) Saturday afternoon we went to SM Fairview and watched Harry Potter 5. It was ok. I wasn't quite impressed with it, prolly because I have read and book and I somehow know what's gonna happen next. Anyways, we were lucky to find a Perfect World OB Installer. Yay! I'm finally able to play PW OB! Also, we found this game Star Wolves 2 and I have the feeling that I have yet again to devise some devious ways to tear him away from the PC. Pinkish monitor and all! *giggles*

I think that's it for this weekend. I just don't want my weekends to end. I don't wanna sleep because I know that when I wake up tomorrow I have got to leave for Manila and go to work. Anyways, I need to take a shower and prepare for bed. But before that, Soulrun PW Version pics :)

Soulrun in a Perfect World

On top of Beast City

Zen Position

Srike a pose!

So What?!?

Cool

2007-07-19T11:32:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Cool by Gwen Stefani

For B.

It's hard to remember how it felt before. Now I found the love of my life. Passes things, get more comfortable. Everything is going right. And after all the obstacles, it's good to see you now with someone else. And it's such a miracle that you and me are still good friends. After all that we've been through, I know we're cool.. I know we're cool.

And we used to think it was impossible, now you call me by my new last name! Memories seem like so long ago, time always kills the pain. Remember Harbor Boulevard? The dreaming days where the mess was made. Look how all the kids have grown, oh we have changed but we're still the same. After all that we've been through I know we're cool.. I know we're cool.

And I'll be happy for you, if you can be happy for me. Circles and triangles and now we're hanging out with your new girlfriend. So far from where we've been, I know we're cool.. I know we're cool.

Missing my guy :(

2007-07-16T23:10:00.000+08:00

Listening to: The Rescue by American Hi-Fi

I'm stressed. Not mad, just stressed. I'm done grieving over my latest account transfer to WaMu. I am gonna be bored to death. Today's VBT proved that. I might as well stick with it, then move on to a new account after 6 months.

Nuff of that. Anyways.. I was drunk Saturday and Sunday night with bojo . Saturday was so-so. I just slept. Sunday was pretty bad because I actually made 3 trips to the bathroom to throw up. That's the most drunken state I've ever been. I'm not much of a drinker that's why. I woke up without any hang over, but my tummy felt a bit queasy. I had coffee (which didn't do anything for me), while he had some soda. I took a sip, and surprisingly it made me feel better. :D He is just great. I know I act like a spoiled brat most of the time (when I'm with him) but he keeps up with me.

Right now I'm just waiting for bojo to reply to my YM messages. Karla's prolly using the PC that's why I'm not getting a reply. I miss him already. I know I just saw him this morning. Crap. His YM just went offline. Karla prolly logged it off. *sigh* Right now I just want him to hold me. Works everytime I feel down. Geez. 4 more days.

I'm hungry. And sleepy. And a bit cranky. Might as well get some rest. I hope I feel better tomorrow.

Back to the GY Shift

2007-07-12T19:02:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Tell Me Where it Hurts by Garbage

It's been raining everyday since Tuesday. Good for me because I can sleep without having to wake up every couple of hours because of the stifling heat. But bad because I have to go to work in the rain, and I don't like having the rain on my shoe especially when I'm gonna be spending the next 9 hours inside a centrally-AC'd building.

It's day 4 of my GY shift. I'm doing ok, unlike some of my batchmates. I'm back to 4 cups of coffee a night, dunno if that's gonna be good for me though. (If Lampaso finds out he'd be lecturing about how bad coffee is for me again!) I love my new account, especially the fact that we do NOT have surf control. Secondly, it's not as gruelling as Expedia. I feel quite at home with AOL. And boy I want that SecurID. It looks uber cool.

Anyways, I have got nothing better to do. I think bojo is a bit mad at me for snapping at him last night. :( I'm reduced to reading friendster bulletins and blog hopping. Poor zeekie coz I had to bother him while watching Claymore. Buti na lang may HOL confe marathon, I've got people to talk to for the most part. The PW servers won't be up until the 18th. Maybe I'll try logging in to my RF account, especially now that there's talk of a possible merge with 2 other guilds. It's weird because a lot of people have been asking me in YM about how HOL-RF, or the Bellato Altrax community have been doing. And I really don't know. Haven't been OL (ingame) much lately. Most people still associate me with RF. I've been asked a lot when I'd be coming back ingame. And that I'm not sure. Part of me wants to go back because I really miss my RF buddies. But part of me wants to spend time with my guildmates in PW too. Geez.

Hmm.. I think I'd be leaving for work early. Stay at Starbucks and review for the quiz later. Or maybe I'd walk around Robinson's Galleria. But I don't think I have enough energy to do that. I feel really crappy I'm almost sure I won't enjoy the mall. I need something to make me feel better. *sigh*

Maybe some mocha frap will do.

Quick Post

2007-07-09T18:02:00.000+08:00

Happy 7th! :)

I'm off to work.

"I know, I know a dirty word"

2007-07-04T20:47:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Me and You (I'm Like a Lawyer with the Way I'm Always Trying to Get You Up) by Fall Out Boy

That's my bebu playing the guitar. *Proud*

I dunno what's with FOB and the really long song titles! They make good music anyways so I couldn't care less. :) My angelfyre005 Y!M ID is acting up. People can't read the messages I send them. So now I'm using my sms account to chat with Bojo.

The other day, I saw this girl on the jeepney with "I know, I know a dirty word" handwritten on her pants. I was like "WTF?!?" No, she doesn't look slutty. On the contrary, she looked kinda lost. Made me wonder all the more why she had those words on her jeans. O_o

I woke up with a migrane. Good thing it went away after I downed an Advil. I just hate it when I'm about to get my period. My head hurts a lot, I'm cranky and I feel real sluggish. Good thing I'm finally off the HR scheduling team. My head'll prolly hurt more. It was sooo boring I had to drink 3 cups of coffee today to keep me awake. Hurrah! I'm starting with AOL tomorrow along with Cherry, Virma, Erik, Lee, Moe and X. I'm on GY shift starting next week so yey, g'bye traffic! I get night diff again! More than enough to cover for my taxes! Haha! And yup, I won't be cranky anymore due to lack of sleep! (Uh, I'd still be cranky once in a while *big grin*).

Perfect Word OB Registration began today. They had this thing where the 1st 1000 registrants will get 1000 gold ingots! Which is a considerable amout of in game currency! I could buy a lot of fashion items with those! They're even giving away free trips to Boracay! Hahaha. (Click HERE for full info.) I was at the office and the only thing that's not on Surf Control is Yahoo! Mail. So I had Bojo do it for the both of us. He ended up registering 11 accounts! My golly! I hope we get at least 2 - 1000 gold for each of us.

Anyhoo, on my way home today I passed by EDSA Central Mall. They had all these stalls selling different stuff. I ended up buying a handbag, which is uber cute for onle 130 Php. I'm too lazy to take a picture now, will do it later though. It's me 2nd bag in a week. The first one I got from SM and cost me 500 Php. It's a lot bigger though. Faux brown leather. I also got a cardigan today and almost bought a new pair of shoes. Haha. Soo much for not spending. I have the extra cash but I wasn't planning on spending it. But what's a girl to do? :) I just couldn't ignore that cute little handbag. It was the first thing that caught my eye and I have got to have it! Hahaha! And I need a new cardigan! It's always cold in the office! (Yeah, that's me rationalizing!) LOL.

And oh! Before I forget.. PW Soft Launch Pics. (From Neo)

PMS Alert!

2007-07-02T20:35:00.000+08:00

Listening to: First Time by Lifehouse

Disclaimer: Violent outbursts ahead. Heed them not. Instead, blame it on the hormones!

PMS: Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) (also called PMT or Premenstrual Tension) is a collection of physical, psychological, and emotional symptoms related to a woman's menstrual cycle.

Hurr. I'm sooo hating DPWH right now. For the 2nd Monday in a row, I was late because of the traffic. Heck, I was up at 5 freakin' AM! Yet I was 20 mins late for work. Grrr... Why the hell they choose to do concerete reblocking just when the school year opened and the rainy season started? I think that's stupid. I ended up walking for 20 mins just to the end of the traffic jam. I was able to catch a bus, but all the seats were taken. I ended up having to stand ant the back of the bus for 1 hour! And what irks me was the fact there were men seated all around me. No one bothered to offer me a seat. They just stared at the women standing there. I don't have a problem with standing all the way to Philcoa, I'm cool with it. I just hate to think that men don't care anymore. Heck, I give up my seat to old people and pregnant women. Why can't these men do the same?

Work was so-so. I'm still doing HR work until Wednesday. I'm gonna moved to AOL starting July 9th. Yey! I got net access! Uh. Speaking of net access.. The stupid IT guys had yahoo mail blocked! Geez man! What's a bored girl got to do?

Anyways, on less gloomy things.. Bojo and I watched Transformers last Saturday. And yup! It was a kick ass movie. I'm no bot fan, but the movie surprised me. Made me lot quite a lot of times. Enjoyed more that Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, even Spiderman 3. I'm kinda bummed tho that we missed the PW Soft Launch yesterday. I didn't wanna go because Robinson's Ermita is a long ways from Bulacan, and I have to be at work 9am today. Well, there's always a next time!

Anyways, I've been really moody lately. My 9-6 sked is driving me insane, and the traffic is really getting into my nerves. Plus, I'm about to have my period so there. I was actually snapping at Bojo at the slightest provocation. Poor guy. *hugs* Thank God coz my boyfriend's been nothing but good to me. I envy his patience. He spoils me rotten! I wish I could be like that.

Uh. Did I mention I hate Mondays? No? Well... I HATE MONDAYS! I wish it's always the weekend!

Hero Profile

2007-06-30T14:19:00.000+08:00

Which Hero are you?(from NBC's hit TV show 'Heroes')

You scored as Matt Parkman,You are Matt Parkman. A psychic, no doubt, you have always been underestimated and misunderstood. You are fed up of your daily routine but stick to it anyway.

Matt Parkman

90%

Micah Sanders

85%

Peter Petrelli

80%

Nathan Petrelli

75%

Hiro Nakamura

75%

Ted Sprague

70%

Sylar

65%

Niki Sanders

60%

D.L. Hawkins

60%

Mohinder Suresh

60%

Claire Bennett

60%

Mr. Bennett

35%

Jackie Willcox

15%

Which Hero are you?(from NBC's hit TV show 'Heroes')
created with QuizFarm.com

And uh.. yeah. Bojo says I am a lot like him :)

Blah.

2007-06-27T21:55:00.000+08:00

I just wanna cry.

Vanilla Mudslide Moment

2007-06-26T23:13:00.000+08:00

Listening to: This

Built to Last by Melee

I've looked
for love in stranger places
but never found someone like you
someone
whose smilemakes me feel
i've been holding back
and now there's nothing
I can do

cause this is real, and this is good
it warms the
inside just like it should
most of all
most of all, it's built to last
it's built to last

all of our friends saw from the start
so why didn't we believe it too?
now look, where we are
you're in my
heart now
and there's no escaping it for you

cause this is real,
and this is good
it warms the inside just like it
should
most of all
most of all, it's built to last
it's built to
last

walking on the hills at night
with those fireworks and
candlelight
you and i were made to get love right

cause this is
real, and this is good
it warms the inside just like it
should
most
of all
most of all, it's built to last
it's built to
last

cause you are the sun in my universe
consider the best when we
felt the worst
and most of all, most of all
most of all, most of all,
most of all.
most of all
it's built to last

Hanbag Pinings and Traffic Jams

2007-06-25T21:47:00.000+08:00

Listening to: These Streets by Paulo Nutini
"Where'd the days go?
When all we did was play
And the stress that we were under
wasn't stress at all.."

My whole day was filled with traffic. First off, it took me 4 hours to get to Makati from Tungko. The traffic in Pecson is hideous. Bojo and I left for the bus stop around 6am. I was stuck inside the bus for 1 hour when I decided to join the throng of people disembarking from the jeepneys and buses and just walk to the end of the jam where hopefully, we can all catch a ride to wherever it is that we're going. So I walked. By the time I was able to ride a bus it was almost 8am and I was about ready to cry out of frustration because I'm not gonna make my 9am shift. I got off at Philcoa and caught a cab. On the way to Makati was more traffic. When 9am struck I was way past caring. I tried calling Forcedesk though but the effing agent transferred me to Cebu for crying out loud! I was on hold for a long time. I ran out of credits. Bummer. So I was late for 1 hour. But lucky for me Apple wasn't there yet to orient us with what we were supposed to do. So my ass was saved! I even got to have breakfast at KFC with Angel and Cherry.

Anyways, I got assigned to HR Admin - Prelim Interview with Nikki. All we did was encode the intervew results into the app management system. Twas a no-brainer actually. The rest of them were tasked with scheduling applicants for interview. Uh oh. I don't wanna be stuck on the phone for 8 hrs. Not just yet! Shift ended at 6, but we had to stay a little while longer while Apple gave us our assignments for the whole week. It seems that I'm gonna be stuck with teh encoding duties until Friday.

The bus ride to Megamall was really slow. I hate rush hour traffic. I'm just not used to it since for 3 years my schedule's been always during the off-peak traffic hours. Just looking at the haphazard line of buses and cars adds to my fatigue. I feel real tired. Plus, it rained on my way home. I had to pass by Megamall since I don't have an umbrella. It was past 8 when I got to the mall, which gave me just enough time to grab an umbrella and pay for it. I wasn't able to look around, even if I wanted to. I WANT A HANDBAG because I the traffic made me feel bad! I want something like this. Bojo says my bag's too big, I should get a smaller one. But I like big bags. I pack a lot of junk in my bag - receipts, bus tickets, pentelpens, dermatographs, brochures, candy, a box of band aids, a nail cutter.. you name it.

Oh well. I'm tired. I miss my bebu. *hugs* Things are so much better when he's around. Gawd. I hope it's Friday already.

The Perfect Fit

2007-06-24T12:42:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Look After You by the Fray

"Oh, oh

Be my baby

I'll look after you."

Woke up round 6am, but Bojo was up before me. I found him in front of the PC, playing Granado Espada. We went downstairs and made breakfast. By 7 we were done. I went back to bed while he lit a cigarette and played his guitar. Telling tales about how easy it was to make a girl "kilig" in HS when you have a guitar. Soon after, I fell asleep again and he went back to his GE game. I was suprised to see that it was almost 12 noon when I woke up. I usually wake up 8-ish when I'm in Pasig. But during weekends when I'm here in Bulacan I wake up really late. Bebu is such a sweetheart. I was thirsty when I woke up, and I was about to ask for some water. Then he smiled, pointed to the foot of the bed. And voila - there's a bottle of water waiting for me. And a chocolate bar! *kilig* I still can't get over how easy it is for him to read me.

There's been a major shake up at work. The BIG bosses decided to cease training our batch . Geez. We just finished our 3rd week of training! One more week and we'd be taking calls. ~.~ But oh well.. It didn't come as a shocker to me because I'm used to it. I felt bad for the fresh grads in my batch though. So the whole day Friday, we didn't do anything. We just stayed in the training room wondering what's gonna happen to us. The people from HR came in to re-profile us and see if we fit the client needs for the other accounts. Then we had to wait for a few hours more for them to make a decision. It wasn't all that bad. 13 of my batchmates were endorsed for interview for one of the financial accounts and 9 of us are gonna report to HR next week while they're still negotiating for our new accounts. So for this coming workweek, I'm gonna be doing some HR stuff like scheduling for interviews and job fairs (if there's any). I'm ok with it. More new things to learn. :) My mom though has other ideas. She keeps telling me to go and apply for an office job. I don't have the heart to tell her that I don't want that. That I am Ok with my job. *sigh*

Anyhoo.. I just finished redesigning my blog! Voxie said it looks really nice, and so did Neo. I think it's cool. Took me 3 hours to pick a layout yesterday and edit it. Plus, I got really excited about the new cbox smiley's! They're uber uber cute. I got them from here: cbox smiles link. I think they're perfect for my cbox! *wub*

Random thought: Life offers us a lot of pants to try on. It's just a
matter of finding the perfect fit.

Fish out of Water

2007-06-21T10:50:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Home by Chris Daughtry
"I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me."

Seeing all those students on their way to school made me realize that it's been 7 years since I left home to go to college. Now I'm 22. I haven't been home in 3 years. When I think about it now I can barely remember the street names in Kalibo. Weird. I lived there for 15 years. Yet when I imagine myself there, I feel like a stranger. I haven't seen my dad and my baby bro for a while now. My mom and younger sister come over (to Manila) and that's when I get to see them. Doesn't happen often though.

I was jobless for 2 weeks last month. And it scared me more than I dare admit. I felt like a fish out of water. For 3 years I was so used to waking up with the thought that I have to get to work. What scared me more about losing my job was the thought that if my folks found out about it, they'd ask me to come home to Aklan and just look for a job there. Something which is totally unacceptable. For one, I'm gonna be under my father's scrutiny day after day. That's one thing I can't stand. Also, I'm sure as hell that we're (my dad and I) gonna have argument after argument about what I need to do with my life. He's got big dreams for me. I wanna fulfill them, sure. But in my own time. I wanns be able to do things that I wanna do. I'm happy with my life, and with who I am. Also, bojo's here. Nuff said.

Anyways, I have a new job now. I got accepted the first time I applied for one. They put me in a travel account, which is fine by me. Training's tough, but I can handle it. I kinda feel alienated from my batchmates though. I feel like some of them look at me differently because I'm almost always the first one to come up with the correct answer or get perfect scores during exams. I get along with them all but it's kinda hard for me to make new friends. I don't mesh with a lot of them. I told bojo about it and he said it's like I'm looking for one peso coins but I'm just seeing 25 centavo coins - that's why I don't pick em up. He's got a very good point. Maybe I'm being too critical of people because I've always been critical of myself. Yeah, I think that's it. :)

Resurfacing

2007-06-19T10:55:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Boston by Augustana

For the first time in 8 months, I talked to my mom today. That left me sobbing for 15 minutes before I was able to bring myself to the bathroom and take a shower. I felt really good. I can't even begin to describe what it was like to hear her voice again. After everything I put her through, she's still there for me. God, I love my mom.

My life has been a blur. I haven't been in touch with my family regularly for half a year. I wasn't home for Christmas or New Year, missed my grandpa's funeral, and tried like hell to stay off my sister's radar. To top it all, I lost my job because the company I was working for filed for bankruptcy.

The only real thing I have was my relationship with bojo and the friendship I have with my HOL guildmates and ingame friends.

bojo and me

With my good friend jeff (Hoseah) during one of our Guild EBs

But I made it through, in one piece. *laughs out loud* I have a new job now. I got my first paycheck from PeoplSupport! And I'm patching things with my folks and things are looking up for me. I tried Perfect World with bojo and we both loved it. I still am not decided if I'm gonna leave RF altogether. We'll see.

Right now I'm just really plain happy.

Happygirl cries.

2007-04-11T07:22:00.000+08:00

We celebrated our 4th month together April 9th.

Last night, for the first time in a long while I cried myself to sleep. It sucks. Really. Mikey and I had a fight. It was so bad it left me crying in front of the bathroom mirror with the sink faucet turned on. Yeah, pathetic huh?

The fight was about me getting mad at him for logging out before me because he's sleepy. What irked me is the fact that he woke up past 12 PM yesterday whilst I've been awake since 3:30 AM. I'm just not used to this. He's always the one to tell me to go to sleep when I'm in Pasig. And hearing him say he's sleepy really upset me. :( He mentioned something about envying the people on his YM list because we're all inspired to play RF. The game bores him already, so he refuses to top up his account. As for me, I'm still BA. I enjoy doing whatever I can to help my race. He said something like: "Dahil ba di na ako nag RF di mo na ako papansinin?" Coz I kept saying "Wait lng, baby." Which is like ^%$&%#&*^. I can't scout in my RF window and talk to him in my Y!M window and stay alive. And I can't chat much either when I'm mobbing naiad helkins or turncoat mages in BD. *sigh* I logged off before I totally lost my cool, coz I'm teary eyed and barely holding on to it. And the last thing I want was for the guys at Ingen to see me cry. But I think Curby noticed I'm upset. He walked me home, me ranting during the whole 2 mins it took us to walk to my place. He told me to calm down, take a shower and then sleep. I'm grateful he still does that for me, despite of what I put him through.

I love the game, not because of the game play but because of the people I am with. People actually depend on me. And I have my responsibilities to fulfill. Heck, I just wanna get Soulrun to lvl 47. I owe her that. I was planning on gaining at least 5% EXP everyday. But yesterday I gained 15%! Which means I only need 55% more to get to 47, 11 more days of BD PLing - then I can wear my rainbow suit. I was pleased with myself. But it didn't last long coz we had a fight right after my last BD key.

Yeah, it's pretty crazy. Coz I think of Souly as a real person. She's like a sister to me. I run to her when the real world isn't so good to me. Because of Soulrun I was able to get over the 4-yr rollercoaster ride I had with Carlo. I was able to make a lot of good friends and meet scores of wonderful people. I met Butch. I think he fell in love with Soulrun first, then me. LOL. It was good while it lasted. And I don't regret any of it, never will. When things with Butch went bad, I had Souly and my friends to make me feel better. I had Hossie and Curby to rant to. And they'd listen. Then Mikey came along. If it wasn't for RF I wouldn't have known he existed. But it's ironic though, that the fights we've had lately is all about RF. Me, my gaming and the people who constantly hound me with PM's. I know sometimes he feels like it's pretty darned difficult to get through to me. As much as I'd want to believe he doesn't mind waiting up for me.. I can't. Coz my gut feeling tells me otherwise. And I've learned long ago to trust my instincts.

I just finished a cup of coffee, which didn't do me any good at all. My eyes are all puffy, and they kinda hurt and makes me squint. I'm so not in the mood to work. I just wanna crawl back to bed and stay there. Heck, maybe I'm just gonna do some laundry when I get off work later.

Maybe I am over reacting. Maybe I am not. But this is how I feel now. And I'm not gonna be sorry for the things I said today.

I'm ranting because I feel real bad. I think he doesn't realize how important he is to me. Or what it means to me to sleep knowing that I can touch his face and watch his lips slowly curl up into that lil smile of his which I soo love when I wake up in the morning.

All About Love

2007-02-14T06:52:00.000+08:00

Listening to: This Time (First Edit) by Mikey, drinking coffee and munching on brownies

This Time

do you see?

ive been trying to feel you here..

do you feel?

all these things that i can feel

(oh yeah..)

do you know, that ive been thinking of you all the time

so now tell me what are you planning now

Refrain:

I cant wait, i cant think

im so excited for this

i know i will never forget so..

Chorus:

Take me to the place where ive been wishin for..

this time i know you're there waiting for me

all the time(why dont you~)

take me to that place where my dreams will come true

cuz now that i know that this is real..

i want to feel it

never letting go

i know thats it

this time

do you see

ive been trying to tell you

all these things, oh

i'm tired of thinking bout me

moving, going, pulling away, oh..

I cant wait, i cant sleep

im so excited for this

i know i will never forget

why don't you..

Chorus:
Take me to the place where ive been wishin for..
this time i know you're there waiting for me
all the time(why dont you~)
take me to that place where my dreams will come true
cuz now that i know that this is real..

i wanna feel it

never let it go

I know this time

it's never letting go

i know that's it this time

Happy Lurv~ Day People!

I can't wait for 8am. Gonna watch Music and Lyrics with Mikey later. *wink* I'll update more laters~

Two (2)

2007-02-09T05:57:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Beautiful by Patrick Nuo

Here's to two months..

... and more :)

This Side

2007-02-06T01:20:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Sweet Home Alabama

It's monday For me (Tuesday for the people who sleep normally), and the first day of my working week. I'm bored. Mikey's not OL in Y!M. He's asleep i think, since he wasn't feeling too good when I left for work earlier this evening. Sheesh. Ganito pala. Now i know what it's like for him when he's waiting up for me. I miss him already. Too bad we didn't get to spend more bonding time last weekend. I had migraine the whole Sunday. And he was really sweet, taking care of me and all that. He made it a point that I took my meds, he even made chicken noodle soup for me and took away the remote so I won't stress my eyes from watching too much TV. So there. I had my monthly migraine attack, which spoiled our plans of finishing that half bottle of tequila we had left over from last week. I woke up just in time for CW (which we won!), had dinner and went back to bed since my head was throbbing again. I woke up hungry around 4 am Monday. I woke him up, checked up on Souly since we left her AFk mining at the core, only to discover that his DSL gave out again! Sooo.. Since we were both hungry, we went down to the kitchen and fried a couple of chicken wings. We had a really early breakfast of crispy chicken wings and coffee. Then we had ice cream for dessert (at 5am!), and ended up having to close all the windows because we were both shivering from the cold :D

Back to the present. I'm reduced to spamming the RF boards while sipping coffee from my RF mug, for lack of better things to do. Which reminds me, I need to give the new screenies to ate Candy so she can make a new mug for me. I wish I have RF here in my office PC. That'd be perfect. Haha~ Dream on Souly.

Ooh, btw.. oski stepped down as archon since he's uber busy iRL. Bellato-Altrax has khengkoi (piloted by Stann) as Archon now. I Hope everything turns out ok - CWs and AOP Project for starters. It's a bummer Technocrat didn't make it to the top 30 during the nomination. It makes me feel better knowing that he's in the council. since I can count on him (or his brother hextor) to be there during 9pm CW. Oh well.. I hope he makes it next week. Since Tech was always there to command the troops last week, I was on scout mode! Hoho~ I was able to use my cloaking powers! Uh, twas fun yet hard to be a scout. Darn Alpha1 members. Why do they all have to own detect headsets and pawn me?!?! And ohhhhhh! Bailey can now craft giga exploding vulcan mags! Yey~

On the bus on my way to work tonight I picked a seat on the left side of the bus - directly behind the driver. I was quite surprised myself because I usually pick a spot on the right side, by the window. But since my usual place was taken (2nd row, right side, window seat), I settled for the nearest window seat available. I have Jam blaring on my earphones while the bus was showing Apocalypto. I got kinda dizzy, trying to focus on the music in my ears while at the same time reading the subtitles from the film. It's a bummer I didn't get to finish the movie. since I think it's really good. I almost missed my stop coz I can't take my eyes off the TV. XD

Anyways, it was kinda refreshing to see the road from the other side of the window. I saw things I didn't notice before. Like how nice it is to look at the lights from buildings and cars from that side of the bus. I noticed buildings and landmarks that I didn't know existed, plus a bunch of other stuff. Anyway, my point is: I can be really close minded sometimes. Especially when I fervently believe that I am right. LOL! I think that's the reason why my dad and I argue so much. We are both stubborn that way. So. back to my close-mindedness.. It wouldn't hurt to try and look at things - from the other side. I'll try this. For my sake. ^^;

Work is slow. Ate mickey's not in, since he isn't feeling well. I'm left to do the collection and verification all by myself. geez. Anyhoo, Ritchie talked to me when I got in today, he mentioned that there's gonna be some major changes with the account that we're handling now. Oh well. Que sera, sera. And yeah, I just finished signing my PA like 10 seconds ago. I hope I get an increase. I sure could use one. XD Not that I'm complaining about the pay I'm getting, I'd be happier if I get more! Hey, I deserve it. I work hard, my bosses like me.. Hoho~

Sheesh, almost 1 am. An hour more before break time. I dunno what to eat for lunch. Hurr. Anyways, nothing left to say. I'm not in the mood to call just yet. Might as well start reading this thing that Cha`Faile shared to me over Y!M.

It's Friday - I'm in love!

2007-02-02T06:54:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Just Say the Word by Josh Kelley

Wee bee to me! It's been soo long since my last update. Christmas and New Year has come and gone. It's 2007 already, February 2007 by God! I've been a MIA blogger for too long. Time for me to put a stop to that. :)

Anyhoo, quite a lot has happened since my last update. Lemme see what I can still remember. XD

Work - I've been real busy with work. I do verification and collection now. Plus, I'm the one in charge for orders and talking with the suppliers. The load of work I'm getting drives me crazy sometimes. But heck, it's my job. And I gotta do it.

RF - I am still BA, still at level 45! Loving the game more and more. I wish I have more playing time though. Damn my sked. Saturnine got to lvl 45 a few days ago! Yey~ I have my very own personal tanker! *winks* Now we just need to complete his +3 int set. Then time to get Bailey (our crafter) to level 40! Payaman mode. :ninja: Hoho~ And oh, did I mention that Sat's in HOL already?

Mikey & Me - I've known him for almost 5 months now, and we've been a couple for almost 2 months. It's all good. I can't believe I could be this happy with someone. I spend my weekends with him now at their place in Bulacan. And I love every minute of it. Having coffee in the morning while playing RF.. Him singing for me.. Watching TV together.. I sleep better when I'm with him. Lawl~ I could go on and on about what I love about him. Truth is, I love everything about mikey. *Laughs* I can't believe I'm in love with a smoker. And yes, last weekend I got drunk with him! And both of us could barely remember what we did afterwards. Haha. I now find myself counting down the days until the next weekend. Just like what I'm doing now.

Looking back at 2006 - If there's one thing I learned about myself last year, it's the fact that I am strong. Yet I am weak. Work has been really challenging. I learned about my strengths, and was humbled when I learned about my flaws. I've gone through 3 boyfriends. I got off a 4-yr relationship, fell in love with a guy 3 yrs my junior (which lasted for 5 months), and then I met mikey.. Fell hard, and falling harder still. Looking back, I'm happy with the way things turned out. Save for the part when I hurt people I care about. 2006 left me with a lot of scars, but I wear them proud.

Gah. Enough. I just miss mikey.

Missin You

2006-12-27T02:37:00.000+08:00

The Distance

Evan And Jaron

The sky has lost it's color

The sun has turned to grey

At least that's how it feels to me

Whenever you're away

I crawl up in the corner

As I watch the minutes pass

Each one brings me closer to

The time when you'll be back

You're coming back

I can't take the distance

I can't take the miles

I can't take the time

Until the next time

I see you smile

I can't take the distance

And I'm not ashamed

That I can't take a breath

without saying your name

I can brave a hurricane

And still be standing tall

when all the dust has settled down

But I can't take the distance

I still believe in feelings

But sometimes

I feel too much

I make believe you're close to me

But it ain't close enough

Not nearly close enough..

I miss my baby.. *hugs*

Restless

2006-12-16T08:35:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Your Love by mikey ~ :wub:

^-- Yush, that's HIM singing and playing - FOR ME!

Hurr~

Can't wait to get home. But I doubt it if I'm gonna fall asleep. I'm way too excited. Haha. XD

*Hums*

"This is the start of something good, don't you agree?"
- Follow Through, by Gavin Degraw

Stranded. Not~

2006-12-09T08:12:00.000+08:00

Listening to: This

Stranded

by Plumb

You know it only breaks my heart

To see you standing in the dark alone

Waiting there for me to come back

I'm too afraid to show

If it's coming over you

Like it's coming over me

I'm crashing like a tidal wave

That drags me out to the sea

And i wanna be with you

And you wanna be with me

I'm crashing like a tidal wave

And i don't wanna be

Stranded, stranded, stranded, stranded

I can only take so much

These tears are turning me to rust

I know you're waiting there for me to

Come back

I'm too afraid to show

I miss you, i need you

Without you, i'm stranded

I love you so come back

I'm not afraid to show

..... Stranded. Not anymore. *wink*

Lazy Blogger~

2006-12-07T10:02:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Dahilan [Barbie]

~ Board Archon Aura /gg~

~ First Graders ~

~ Si Fiona! (sana puppy n lng sya forever :P)

~ Haberdey! ~

~ 45 na si Soulie~

Running Away

2006-11-26T04:04:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Everybody Wants You [Josh Kelley]

You've been bad

You know you've been good

Did you lose your mind

Like a knew you would?

Hmm. It's Thanksgiving Weekend. I didn't have work Thursday and Friday. Watched Happy Feet~ with curby, jeff, allen and joe Thursday evening. Twas fun, fun fun. Lotsa laughs! We watched it twice! Haha. And I want a penguin plushie! But.. erm. nvm.

Tonight I have to work; which is fine by me. It's kinda weird having to spend the whole night alone, coz for the past couple of weeks I had someone with me on YM. I'm not gonna be a hypocrite and I say I don't miss the company, coz I do. But I'll get used to it. Ako pa. I'm always gonna be ok. :) I'm actually on emo mode right now, listening to "the playlist". *Sigh*

Too bad the RF Boards is down. Can't help but think. LOLz. I'm actually happy with the way things are going. Butchy and I are doing well, no more petty fights. Though I don't get to spend as much time with him as I would want to because of my new schedule. Oh well, we're just gonna have to work around it.

Soulrun made it to 44 earlier tonight. But 2.5% to go there was a black out at Ingen. Curby and I ended up having dinner at KFC (our nth KFC meal for the weak!) and Lepp ended up finishing the last 2.5% on my exp bar and almost skipping CW. It's a good thing the power was back up when we finished our meal, we were able to attend Chip Wars. Too bad Bellato lost. Oh well, there's always a next time. And oh! I also got asked out on a date by someone I've known for a long time IG (way before I was BA), and was greeted "happy b-day" on Solus mapchat by [VgD]Praetor though it's not my birthday! All because bluesquall and Hossie decided to pick on me! XD

I was with Stann on YM. And he sent me a copy of the songs he wrote for his Bellato Love Songs Collection. There was this song called "Beautiful" - for Kiboo and pepot11. And there's this song called "Bert, Mai, Souly" - It's about Klein08, Ceraby and me! And it's a mix of English, Tagalog and Malay! I'll post the lyrics and the link when I get the chance. :)

Curby took me home after CW. I was s'posed to sleep. But I found out that I have got to get to work. Hurr ~_~ So much for catching up on sleep.

A lil over an hour after I got home and a few miss sent sms messages later, I went "Wahhhhhhhhhh! Here I go again.." But I'm actually ok with it. It's much better having it out in the open than me having to pretend I don't know and I didn't notice. I'm cool with. Believe me. XD

The past week has been well, quite interesting. I said goodbye to one of the best things that happened to me. And I spent a good part of the week running away from it all. Him, them, myself, my sister, my mom, even from AB's! Just like old times, I turned to RF and friends for comfort. :) Check out the screenshots!

Edit @ 5:52 am: *Kicks Launchcast radio* Why did you have to play those songs? O_o

Almost There

2006-11-22T06:00:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Take Me Away [Lifehouse]

Don't give up on me yet

Don't forget who I am

I know I'm not there yet

But don't let me stay here alone ..

somebody told me:

Never leave, never change, smile and always be happy! keep on smiling, never frown, nor cry for someone who doesnt deserve your tears, dnt forget what i told you..coz if you really do something stoopy again.. i really am gonna take you away.

I'm almost back to my old self. *hugs*

The Things I do

2006-11-19T06:33:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Look What You've Done [Jet]

Take my photo off the wall

If it just won't sig for you

'Cause all that's left has gone away

And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done

You've made a fool of everyone

Oh well, it seems likes such fun

Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view

'Cause I just can't think for you

I can hardly hear you say

What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done

You've made a fool of everyone

Oh well, it seems likes such fun

Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done

You've made a fool of everyone

A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall

If it just won't sing for you

'Cause all that's left has gone away

And there's nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

This is me being stupid. But what's done is done.

How to Save a Life

2006-11-09T11:07:00.000+08:00

Listening to: How to Save a Life [The Fray]

Step one you say we need to talk

He walks you say sit down it's just a talk

He smiles politely back at you

You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right

As he goes left and you stay right

Between the lines of fear and blame

And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best

Cause after all you do know best

Try to slip past his defense

Without granting innocence

Lay down a list of what is wrong

The things you've told him all along

And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice

You lower yours and grant him one last choice

Drive until you lose the road

Or break with the ones you've followed

He will do one of two things

He will admit to everything

Or he'll say he's just not the same

And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend

Somewhere along in the bitterness

And I would have stayed up with you all night

Had I known how to save a life

------------------

My heart is breaking but I am happy. Go figure coz I can't.

Maybe it's just me. And that something in me who wants to save everybody. But I remember half a year ago, a friend told me that sometimes I should stop thinking about other people's happiness and think about myself. After all, I can't save everyone.

So I guess this is it. I'm letting go. It's about time I learn how to let go - first. Now how do I do it? Right now I don't know how. Maybe the next time I write in here I'd know how to . Or maybe, I would've done it already.

Something

2006-11-07T17:53:00.000+08:00

Listening to: You Give Me Something [James Morrision]

You want to stay with me in the morning
You only hold me when I sleep,
I was meant to tread the water
Now I've gotten in too deep,
For every piece of me that wants you
Another piece backs away.

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something '
Cause someday I might know my heart.

You already waited up for hours
Just to spend a little time alone with me,
And I can say I've never bought you flowers
I can't work out what the mean,
I never thought that I'd love someone,
That was someone else's dream.

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something,
'Cause someday I might call you from my heart,
But it might me a second too late,
And the words I could never say
Gonna come out anyway.

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something,
'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart.
Know my heart, know my heart, know my heart

*wink*

Post B-day Rants and Raves

2006-11-05T19:41:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Learning to Breathe [Switchfoot]

I'm learning to breathe

I'm learning to crawl

I'm findin that you, and you alone

Can break my fall..

I'm back to the graveyard shift starting this week - doing verification for the B2B account on weekdays and doing confirmation for the B2C account on Saturday. On the lighter side, I get off work 9am Sunday and will be back at 11pm Tuesday. Not bad. Haha. But I still want my morning shift. I can do more stuff. And play more RF. Haha. Adek amp.

Day after my birthday (Nov 3) I went shopping after work. Haha. Masama kasi loob ko. Toinks. I did some grocery shopping, got a new book, a new shirt, and a necky with my name written in pasta. Early evening Friday I was at LU office in Makati for the RF Leader's Conference. Then I was off to work, which took forever to finish. Saturday I slept for 11 hours! O.o

I now have playlist for Radioblog! w00t~ Thanks to Ash for helping me with it.

Things have been pretty rough with work. I haven't been OL much lately and I miss my IG friends. Err, I got killed by Erzsebet! And uh. Well, I don't wanna talk about it here. It's been one helluva week but I somehow made it through.

And oh. Last night I was dancing in the moonlight. *wink*

Happy Birthday, Princess

2006-11-03T08:25:00.000+08:00

Listening to this, and just lit one candle in a million.

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday to me..

Haha~

I turned 22 yesterday. Big deal. I didn't get my Birthday wish. Instead I got something I've been wanting for 6 years now (and almost gave up on!). =)

Thanks to all those who remembred. *hugs*

Tableau

2006-10-31T07:35:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Fix You [by Coldplay]
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try
to fix..
YOU.

I just felt like posting this. It's something I wrote 6 years ago I think..

Tableau

A solitary tear -
fell from a tired eye.
Froze.
And then broke
like crystal as it hit the ground,
shattering to a thousand pieces.

A single soul
looks out the window

Watching the snow fall,

dance and swirl on its own

hurried frenzy.

Making her
cold and numb all over.

Ghosts of yesterday
Taund her sanity with
it's icy fingers.
Like the caress of a lover
who just moments ago
walked away.
Closed the door and disappeared
as the first snowflakes
kissed the windowpanes.

On Happiness

2006-10-31T06:45:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Breathing [by Ash]

I logged in to my blogger account today intending to write about something else entirely. But then while trying to gather my thoughts, I decided to browse through RF Boards - and lo and behold! I got a new PM in my inbox. So with all thoughts gone from my groggy mind, I decided to make myself a cup of coffee and munch on some choco chip cookies while listening to a song that's really close to my heart...

I mean.. heck. Now I don't know how to express my feelings! It's just so unfair sometimes. You wanna make people happy. But the one thing that's gonna make them happiest - you can't give :(

I can't help but feel guilty about it (although I damn well know I shouldn't). I just wish there's something I can do to make it better. Maybe I'm just being selfish in wanting to keep it because it makes me smile. But I don't wanna hurt people. I wanna make them... ok.

Sound Trippin' :)

2006-10-29T08:29:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Accidentally In Love [Counting Crows]
Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
Well I didn't mean to do it
But there's no escaping your love

I...

just had the most

music-filled night

of my life :)

It's almost 8:30 now. And I'm really sleepy. But I had so much fun. *Yawn* I'm off to bed now. Need to be up before 6 for the First Strike Event in Altrax.

Thank you for indulging me. And btw, you still owe me one song!=D

Nothingness

2006-10-28T08:10:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Everything [by Ash]

I have got a lot of things on my mind. *Sigh* I can't find anything better to do. LOL! So I grabbed that ^ pic off my sister's friendster profile. Haha~ I miss our lil bro soo much :(

I'll try and write something later tonight during my GY shift.

Fix Her

2006-10-21T07:45:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Breathing [Lifehouse]
... coz I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing.. it's where I wanna be..

His angel is broken.

Someone fix her please.

All Messed Up

2006-10-15T08:01:00.000+08:00

Listening to: All Messed Up

Artist: Breaking point
Song: All Messed Up
Album: Beautiful Disorder

i hope i never wake up
i dream about you all the time now
and i don't wanna face
another night without you here
someday, someway, somehow
we will be together again
you know i've always wanted
just to feel the touch of your love
you know i've always hated
knowing how far apart we are
someday, someway, somehow
we will be together again
i just want you to know

(chorus:)
baby i'm all messed up in you
you're far away
but you're here with me
baby i'm all messed up in you
you're all i need
my everything

every night i wake up
hoping that i'll find you here and
there's not a day that goes by
i don't think about your smile
someday, someway, somehow
we will be together again
i just want you to know

(chorus)

and i know that we will find a way
to be together someday
and i promise you that i won't leave
i'll be here forever

(chorus)

i want you
i need you
i'm lost here without you
i'm all messed up in you
i hope i never wake up
i dream about you all the time now.

Can't Stop

2006-10-14T09:49:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Get to Me [Train]
Go on hitch a ride on the back of a butterfly
There's no better way to fly
To get to me
I look around at what I got
And without you, it ain't a lot
But I got every, with you, everything

Friday the 13th was'nt unlucky for me at all. To hell with the Myth! >:3

Hurr~ I've had two 2 hrs sleep, and was late for work. But I couldn't care less. I love hearing him laugh..

... And right now I just can't stop SMILING =)

Up and Down

2006-10-08T06:12:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Call Me When You're Sober [Evanescence]

Don't cry to me.

If you loved me,

You would be here with me.

You want me,

Come find me.

Make up your mind.

I've been up and down the past week.

Sunday LU LIVE! was soo much fun! I got to see my HOL guildmates again as well as meet with the other RF peeps from Altrax. I got dizzy from all the people introduced to me, and right now I could barely remember their faces. Hehe. I was hoarse from lack for sleep, from shouting over the NEST Finals, and from talking non-stop the whole afternoon.

Some pics (c/o ria):

L-R: curby, ria, pau, joe, me, allen, keith and maxipeel

Standing (L-R): Kohaku, Voldenmore, Railshark, sachiel, Zeek, Malkav; On the Floor: AeolusYager, Maximin, msBLUEgirl, Thiek, Astraea, Soulrun, ElBimbo

Ceru's Brownies~! Yummy

Last shot before goin home.

HOL Posing with the Brown MAU Cosplay Winner~

And oh, I forgot. I am now the Bellato Altrax Board Archon. And here are Soulie's Lvl 41 screenie~

Reaching for the Stars >"<
Dancing in the Moonlight
Soulrun in Lvl 41 LR Set

The other days weren't that remarkable. Save for the fact that the GEVC VOIP Phone has gone haywire and it's making my job really hard to do. I hope we do good this week tho. .

Friday night I cried myself to sleep. Felt better when I woke up Saturday morning, went to work. Got home around 1pm, slept. Then cried when I woke up. Felt like crap. Played RF, then I was ok again. The price I have got to pay I guess. But it's all worth it. I know it is.

Basta. If you want me to I'll be there for you, maybe I can save your life. At times you hated me, ain't that how love should be. So just me save your life.

Right about now I need some coffee. Maybe some choco chip cookies. And a hug. <3>

Needful Things

2006-10-01T05:48:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Waiting [Omnisoul]
But if you want me to
I'll be the one for you
Maybe I can save your life
At times you've hated me, ain't that how love should be
So just let me save your life..

He needs me. And the thought of it just makes me smile. =)

Thursday Morning Rants

2006-09-28T08:48:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Slide [Goo Goo Dolls]

Could you whisper in my ear

The things you wanna feel

I'll give you anything to feel it comin'

Do you wake up on your own

Or wonder where you are

You live with all your faults

I wanna wake up where you are..

I won't say anything at all..

It's a stormy Thursday morning. Frankly, everything is just plain gloomy. It's been raining non-stop since last night, which made it uber hard for me to get up this morning. Classes are suspended in all levels, but too bad I ain't in college anymore. Haha. So I showered, a very cold one at that and got dressed. I trudged under the pouring rain and made my way in front of KFC to catch my FX ride to the office. I was glad to catch a ride within my first five minutes of waiting. Despite having the bottom of my capris wet, I was about to thank my lucky stars when lo and behold - the Tamaraw's batteries decided to die out on us. Haha. So there I was. Wet and running late and stranded in the SEAOIL station in Pineda - desperately waiting for a cab. I got one after like 10 mins. But the freaking driver was trying to pretend he doesn't know how to get me to Emeral Ave in Ortigas! AMP. So there, I was late for work. Late and wet and pissed. And quite hungry too and so in need of my caffeine fix.

Work is boring. So I'm left with browsing RF boards and Naruto Arena.

I don't know where he is or how he's doing. The last message I got was like 8 hours ago, when we said g'nyt. *sigh* I keep reading this. Something he sent me via PM at Naruto-Arena yesterday. It's the only bright spot in my day :

hehe.. wawa kc angel q pag la magawa..
Beh!
I love you mahal..

Geez. I'm ranting. I just miss him so bad. Haven't had the chance to spend quality time in more than a week. We both had stuff to take care of. I got sick, we had a fight. Then there's RF and stuff he's got to do til next week. And it makes me quite depressed to realize that I'll be turning 22 in 5 weeks, and I'm not gonna be able to spend that day with him, or my family for that matter. =(

Mad Rush (Wishing. Hoping. Waiting. Wondering)

2006-09-17T03:07:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Miracle [Foo Fighters]
Dying to to harm these tired eyes
I've been losing sleep
Please come to me tonight

Phew. It's been quite a week. Well, it always is everytime my mum's in town! XD So here's a rundown of what I've been up to:

Saturday, the 9th

My mom arrived from Aklan. I picked her up at Auntie Arlene's place in Mandaluyong after lunch then we brought her stuff at my place in Pasig. After that we were off to Sta. Rosa coz she's gonna be spending the weekend at Auntie Erna's place. After dropping her off, I shuttled back to Manila. I was quite in a rush coz there's an event in RF. But heck, due to lag and DC problems they had to postpone it. I went straight to work after RF-ing. PCSI's Telco went haywire - leaving them with dead phonelines. So Racquel ended up doing her confirmations here at Jollibee Plaza. And because of that I got off at 11am Sunday, instead of my usual 7am! :(

Sunday, the 10th

After I got off work I went straight to Laguna to spend time with my mom and my cousins. Hrr. To think I haven't slept yet. I finally hit the sack round 2pm and woke up feelinf like crap. My throat hurt and I had the sniffles.

Monday, the 11th

5 Years after 9/11. God Bless their souls.

Went back to Manila with mum. We met up with Auntie Arlene I went with them to PTRI in Taguig for the analysis of the Piña fibers for mum's PhD thesis. My day off. My sniffles got worse and I had a slight fever.

Tuesday, the 12th

So-so day. I left mum alone at home. I went to work and played RF afterwards, piloting Leppard. Weee~ It's fun being a berserker pala. Ahaha! I had him gain 10%, which ain't bad. And I died twice! Haha. I was shockedd when I got home coz everything is soo neat and clean. She did all my laundry, organized my stuff and my bed as well as everything else. Really. I gotta hand it to her. Thanks nanay. *hugs* Still sick though. And it's kinda nice to be sick with my mum around coz she's fuzzing over me, just like when I was a kid. Geez. I missed those days.

Wednesday, the 13th

I skipped work. Went back to PTRI with mum to take some pics and observe in their lab. I was the designated photographer and I toyed with her digicam while she was discussing some computations with the researcher! Went to Megamall after and she shopped around, with me trudging along. I was quite sick by this time - coughing and sneezing and running a fever. Anyways, I had my best dinner date. It was over some sinigang na maya-maya and my mum fussing and urging me to eat since I'm sick. XD It's been a while since I felt "that" comfortable around her. No pep talks about how I should do this or do that. I think it's because she sees I'm ok now, and I'm happy. I'm glad she didn't ask about Carlo. I think she knows I don't wanna talk to him anymore. She means well, and I love her.

Thursday, the 14th

I went to work, and mom went back to Aklan.

Friday, the 15th

Payday! Woot~

Saturday, the 16th

Just work. And RF. We lost SC2, won 9pm CW.. I turned lvl 41! Tee hee~ And butchy got to 43! Will post screenies later. I was in a hurry to get to work to take any.

Today

Another boring workday. *sigh*

Wishing. Hoping. Waiting. Wondering..

Listen

2006-09-08T08:39:00.000+08:00

Listen

Close the door
I feel a breeze hold me please
I hate to be alone
It's a cold night, turn off the light
Come take my hand and...

Listen to these things I have to say
Please understand
he left me, all alone again

Clear the room
Of every memory
I don't want that song back on
It's an endless maze
Take away this haze
Please mend my heart and...

Listen to these things I have to say
Please understand
he left me, all alone again

Listen to these things I have to say
Please understand
he left me, all alone again

Turn away
Don't want you to see me cry
I just want things the way they were
It's so hard to say goodbye
Wipe my tears and...

Listen to these things
I have to say
Please understand
he left me, all alone again

This I ask of you
Please stay with me
Until he comes back
Oh, til he comes..
til he comes..
til he comes back (please Listen)
until he come..
til he comes back..

-------------------

Grah. I'm all broken up again. =( Somebody fix me please.

Hello Lonely

2006-09-07T11:44:00.000+08:00

Hello Lonely

Hello lonely
How you doin' today?
Hello sweet thing
Why don't you walk this way?

Hello, you again
How could you go and be so cold?
She said "Goodbye sad man"
Cuz all this pain is getting old

So why're you sad?
Don't you know that
It's you that holds my dreams and seems to always come back?

How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this, just walk away from this again?
How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this, just walk away from this?

Hello lonely
Now that you're gone I can move on
Goodbye sweet thing
Just know that I've been here all along

So why're you sad?
Don't you know that
It's you that holds my dreams and seems to always come back?

How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this, just walk away from this again?
How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this, just walk away from this?
Again
Again
All those days you waste on me I just can't let you go

So why're you sad?
Don't you know that
It's you that holds my dreams and seems to always come back?

How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this, just walk away from this again?
How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this, just walk away from this?

How could you walk away?
(Again)
How could you walk away from this?
(Again)
Just walk away from this again

------------------------

Sigh.

Bumming Around

2006-09-02T08:32:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Stay With You [Goo Goo Dolls]
And I'll stay with you
The walls will fall before we do
So take my hand now
We'll run forever
I can feel the storm inside you
And I'll stay with you..

Puyat. Barely 2 hrs sleep lang. I need to sleep properly! I know it's not healthy to sleep at 3 or 4 am when I have work at 6am. But.. "And I know it wasn't right, but it felt so good.."

Another slow day. Waiting for my shift to end. Browsed DA and Loved these images. Soo pretty :)

~ Dreamy ~

~ Lovely ~

----------------------------------

QuiZ Time!

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as down to earth and reliable.
Overall, your true self is reserved and logical.
With friends, you seem thoughtful and interested in ideas.
In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.
In stressful situations, you seem cheerful and optimistic.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

How to Walk

2006-08-27T05:43:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Over my Head [The Fray]

Everyone knows I'm in over my head

Over my head

With 8 seconds left in overtime

She's on your mind..

It's been raining on and off lately. Actually the weather is quite unpredictable. XD And I hate it because I end up not bringing my jacket when it's raining after I get off my shift. Sure I have my umbrella but I don't wanna take it out. I don't like a wet umbrella. Nah ah :D

So anyways, yesterday wasn't much of a difference. It's a Saturday so I decided to wear my khaki drawstring pants and flip flops to work. (Woot~ I can wear flip flops to the office! It's actually one of the reasons while I like my job - it doesn't require me to be in a corporate suit. Haha). So since I was wearing flip flops and I am not girly (translation: I don't walk,talk,dress and act like your average girl), I ended up with small greyish blotches at the backside of my pants. And lots of them. I didn't notice until one of my officemates asked me what's with my pants during breaktime. But heck, I couldn't care less anyways. But seeing those muddy blotches made me think of my mom, and how she always reminds me to walk properly lest I get dirt on my clothes - especially when it's raining. It's almost making me laugh out loud when I think about it. Imagine. I'm a full grown adult now. But I still don't know how to walk when it's raining! /swt

I slept when I got home. Woke up around 5:30 I think and just lounged around my bed and engaged in another marathon texting session with HIM. I got up around 7:30 - showered, grabbed some chow, got dressed then left for INGEN to catch the 9PM CW. There was an event: system crash. Which got screwed bigtime coz the GM's PC crashed during the most critical moment. Sheesh~ System crash talaga! Literally! LOL. We're gonna know the results by Monday so we just gotta keep our fingers crossed. We need the drop mods. I need to farm! XD I found out from Leppard that I have this semi-immunity from them Accretians. Coz according to his accre friend, there was something on map chat about NOT killing Soulrun. Tee Hee~ Lesser CODs from accre pawnage! Spamming at the boards was kinda good for me I guess. Hehe >:) Friday's CW was a lot more fun tho. It went on for three hours and was a draw. But the Federation Troops were able to successfully defend BCC from the combined Cora and Acrre forces. And I got my all-time record of 22 Kills! Weee~! But Lepp beat me tho, he got 34 friggin kills! Pfft! I am gonna beat him one time. Antay lang siya! XD

Work is boring. Nothing to do here in the office. So I spammed at the boards some more. Good thing one of my accre board buddies was still up - spam galore! And I was flabbergasted to know that I am now the #2 spammer in the whole of RFO-Ph boards. OMFG! XD

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are quite expressive and thoughtful. You see the world in a way that others are blind to.
You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.
You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.
Your near future is a lot like the present, and as far as you're concerned, that's a very good thing.
For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Hitting 40~

2006-08-23T08:17:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Dirty Little Secret [All Ameican Rejects]

I can't think of anything right now..

Workwise it's the same old story. It's all good baby :)

I don't have a social life anymore. Dang schedule O.o

Wee~! Soulrun finally hit 40! After like 8 months! LOLz. She's officially a Harrier.

Posing with her new toy: +3 int BSB

Anti-Raiding with another new toy: SI Vulcan (that got her broke!)

Haha~! Impulse shot!

Almost 40 :)

2006-08-17T10:32:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Brighter than Sunshine [Aqualung]
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine..

Weee~! Soulrun's at 39 already. 50% to go and I can change to Harrier :) Hopefully I can finish it today, or tomorrow so I can be ready for this weekend's PT mod.

Pretty Baby~

PL-ing in Ether ^^

Taking a Break :)

6 Billion People

2006-08-15T23:38:00.000+08:00

Listening to: JJ Blaberring on a Tuesday morning

There's 6, 534, 717, 139 people in the world and all you need is 1*.

I stumbled upon the world population counter while I was scouring the net for something interesting. It reminded of that One Tree Hill episode when Peyton painted her wall black and wrote down the 6 billion people in the world thing.

Hmm. Wala lang. Just made me wonder. :)

*as of 03:29 GMT (EST+5) Aug 15, 2006

Dreaming of Ice Cream

2006-08-13T21:44:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Good Day [Jewel]

Can't think standing here no more

I'm alone, my mind's racing, heart breaking

Can you be everything I need you to be?

Can you protect me like a daughter?

Can you love me like a father?

Can you drink me like water?

Say I'm like the desert, just hotter.

He said goodnight at 1 am. I fell asleep, only to be awakened 2 hours later by his SMS message - urging me to get out of bed coz I have to be at work by 4. I asked him why he's still up. He said he can't stop thinking about me. Geez. I know it's cheesy but it's making me kilig anyways. So I prepped up, and was texting with him all the way to the office. Twas raining. And I wanted so bad to crawl back in my bed and just lie there. I got here (the office) by 4:30 I think. I know I'm late but it doesn't matter since it's a Sunday. LOL :) He made sure I was safely in the office before he turned in for the night. Shucks. Such a sweet thing, that boy. No wonder I can't stop smiling.

Ritch left for the day after I arrived. Work's very light this week since the other guys were moved to GY already. So I've got lots of idle time. As if i don't heve enough already! 8D Nothing to do so I lazed around the net (again!) I lurked around RF boards, and was forced to sign up for a Multiply account just so I could view the Acrretia GEB pics. I'm thinking about using the multiply account for Soulrun's RP Stuff - like her profile, character background and all that. Hmm. And yeah, I also signed up for Deviantart today, so I could leave comments on Dzini's DA page. Woot~! -1 Single person in the world! XD Yey for falling in love again!

Right now I'm having a cup of coffee, and munching on choco mallows. I would've wanted him here with me but he's sick. And I actually enjoy moments like these when I could just sit back and let my thoughts flow. Next week he said he'd try. But I don't wanna impose on him. Don't have the right to. LOL.

Carlo is still texting, he says he missed me. But I don't miss him. Right now I'm missing someone else entirely. Sigh. I want him to move on, just like I did. But how to tell him when he won't listen? It's frustrating coz I ctually thought that we've worked out the whole "let's be friends" thing. Then the barrage of text msgs came. Oh well.

Random thought: I wanna get a tattoo. A teenie weenie Bellato Race Symbol at the back of my right hand. But my folks are gonna freak I'm just soo sure they would! XD
3 hours more before I can go home, climb back to bed and
dream of Ice Cream *wink* :)

Closer

2006-08-11T00:42:00.000+08:00

CLOSER [Joshua Radin]

so, we're alone again
i wish it were over
we seem to never end
only get closer
to the point where i can take no more

the clouds in your eyes
down your face they pour
won't you be the new one burn to shine
i take the blue ones every time
walk me down your broken line
all you have to do is cry

hush my baby now
your talking is just noise
and won't lay me down amongst your toys in a room
where i can take no more

the clouds in your eyes
down your face they pour
won't you be the
new one burn to shine
i take the blue ones every time
walk me down your
broken line
all you have to do is cry

photographs and brightly colored paper
are your mask you wear in this caper
that is our life
we walk right into the strife
and a tear from your eye brings me home

the clouds in your eyes
down your face they pour
won't you be the new one burn to shine
i take the blue ones every time
walk me down your broken line
all you have to do is cry

About a Boy

2006-08-06T16:37:00.000+08:00

ABOUT A BOY~

Listening to: Learning the Hard Way [Gin Blossoms]

I wonder what you're dreaming

While we’re halfway cross this bridge

We've come too far to turn back

We're just too close to quit

Wee~! New layout, and I'm in love with it! 8D And starting next week, I have a new day off. Mondays now instead of Tuesdays since we have a new account, and some of the guys were moved to GY shift. I'm leftt with Ritchie for the GEVC account until everything is up and running for the other new account.

And speaking of new stuff, Soul's got to lvl 37 na pala! And she's got new gear! I love teh +2 chaos int gatling from Lepp. And I also got a +15 dodge amulet from Leggy, and a +3 chaos smart gatling from Yashiru. Woot! 141 dodge ^^; I am so addicted to mobbing leds and ore farming. Gotta save up for that SI bolt rifle of vulcan. And I need to PL to 40 na! Hmm, maybe next week. That is, if I don't get sidetracked again! Haha.. Soul's got some tin can stalkers! LAWL! I didn't know AR (Anti-Raiding) could be such fun!

Waiting for the Cartella Ship ~ Anti Raid with Leppard

Anyways, some random thoughts during my idle office time.

This boy is a mass of complications. He's nice and sweet one moment then naughty and bad the next. He claims he'd rather be alone, but asked me "not to leave". He says he's not lonely, when he actually is. He told me he wouldn't wanna fall in love again. So he's gonna steer clear of 'em girls. It's all about prevention, he said. ^_~
xxx
xxx
xxx
This boy is making me smile :)

Sunday Morning

2006-07-31T00:08:00.000+08:00

Nothing to do. I'm waiting out the end of my Sunday shift. Traded sked with Ritch. I was s'posed to post an entry about something else entirely. But I decided against it. I'm just not yet ready to let the world know about that.

Soo loving this:

LEAVE THE PIECES (The Wreckers)

So I came up with this - random song lyrics that just popped into my mind ~

I would have given you all of my heart
But there's someone who's torn it apart
And he's taken just all that I had
But if you want I'll try to love again..
- Sheryl Crow, The First Cut is the Deepest

When I find out who I am
I'm gonna know just what to do
When I pull myself together again
I'm gonna give myself to you..
- Train, Give Myself to You

You've been sad
Your're misunderstood
Did you find your kind
Like i knew you would?
- Josh Kelly, Everybody Wants You

Aren't I lovely and do you want me cause
I am hungry for something that will make me real
Can you see me and do you love me cause
I am desperately searching for something real?
- Plumb, Real
Like eager angels falling from heaven
I'd give it all up to feel the pain with you..
- Session Road, Eager Angels

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
- Howie Day, Collide

I'll stay with you
The walls will fall before we do
Take my hand now
We'll run forever
I can feel the storm inside you
I'll stay with you
- Goo Goo dolls, Stay With You
Hello lonely
How you doin' today?
Hello sweet thing
Why don't you walk this way?
- Theory of a Dead Man, Hello Lonely

One thing is clear, I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here
You wouldn't say so you, wouldn't say so if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you
- Haley James Scott, Halo

May he turne 21 on the base of Fort Bliss
Just a day he said down to the flask in his fist
Ain't been sober since maybe October of last year
Here in town you can tell he's been down for while
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles
Wanna hold him but maybe I'll just sing about it ..
- Anna Nalick, Breathe (2AM)

Just read between the lines :)

On the Line

2006-07-23T20:51:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Good Morning Baby [Dan Wilson & Bic Runga]
Good morning, baby
I hope I'm gonna make it through another day..

The last time I updated, I was hyper. And I still am. Must be all that coffee I had. And that something else is still with me. :)

My week has passed me by in a blur. Geez! Time does fly. Last time I checked, twas Monday morning and I was feeling too lazy to get out of bed. And now it's already early morning Sunday!

Things were'nt going so well at work. The friggin brokers are up to something and we think it ain't good. Anyways, we're gonna have a couple of new accounts coming in. And hopefully by next month I'm gonna be back to my GY Mon to Fri shift - which means no more waking up at 5 am and no more work on Sundays! Plus I get Saturday and Sunday off! Woot~ I just hate my sched. I know I've been ranting about this for quite some time now. Haha! But having to work on a Sunday is just soo annoying. And Tuesday for a day off? Ano naman magagawa ko nun?! Sheesh~ But I have got to do it. Since it's my job, it's in my JD and because no one else can (Yes, call me conceited but no one else can do it. That's why I'm back to this swinging sked of mine). And it's not just my career that's on the line, but the agents' as well. So I have to do it properly! X3

On. The. Line. Is it time? Is it right? Is it ok? Sheesh~ So many questions! Haha! But I feel good. And right now I could hardly care..

Ok, so that last paragraph was just sooo vague. Even to me. Haha.. I'm actually just typing whatever that comes to mind. ^^; So yeah, on the line. Reminds me of this Teddy Geiger song:

cause everybody tries to put some love on the line

and everybody feels a broken heart sometimes

and even when i'm scared i have to try to fly

sometimes i fall

but ive seen it done before

i got to step outside these walls..

Sometimes I wonder if its worth it. Mending you heart and putting in back "out there". Then have it broken all over again. *Bitter Laugh* Heck. I should know. I've had my heart trampled down a couple of times already. Well, I think it is worth it. And I believe I can survive having it broken one more time, and then another.

***[For You'll-Know-Who-You-Are-When-You-Get-To-Read-This-Entry: Thank you for making me feel good. I just hope I'm gonna be good for you as well.]

Hanging Out

2006-07-20T14:25:00.000+08:00

Listening to: A Lifetime [Better Than Ezra]
And I know it wasn't right
But it felt so good..

Hmm. More RF screenies :)

Over at Lode Falls

My Secret Place..

Is not so secret anymore!

I love them orbs! >3

Woot~ Focus!

Updates!

2006-07-16T16:52:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Hello Lonely [Theory of a Dead Man]
Hello, lonely
How are you doing today?
Hello, sweet thing
Why don't you walk this way?

It's been over a week since my last entry and things have been pretty hectic. Not to mention that I've got too much stuff goin on inside my head than I'm letting on..

July 8 - Went to the Bellato GEB @ Phoenix with my HOL guildies. I was finally able to meet Zepplin, ElBimbo, Malkav and Railshark :) I had Zepp and Hossie meet me at the MRT Magallanes station since I don't know my way around Makati. Then we went to Pacific Star and met up with ElBimbo. Then off to Phoenix! Antherion and Chino was there as well as Valfogg and Neoma. It's kinda weird and fun at the same time to see the faces behind the avatars that I see in game. Some were mere kids while the others were uh, not so young. Haha~ And teh chixilogs! LOLers! ^_~ Anyways, it was fun. Chaotic fun if you ask me! Haha.. Too bad the other HOL peeps weren't able to make it. And speaking of this GEB thing, I've got some guy (who claims to have seen me there) PMing me IG and sorta asking me out. /swt And I thought no one noticed me since I had my nameplate kinda concealed. LOL! Even the guys from Zeal (Bellato Nexus) saw me! Haha~ Woot~

The past few days, more and more people are going OL (HOL Altrax). We managed to get to 1 page +. Yey! And most of the old RF peeps have decided to come back! I love it :) Haha! Plus, I'm excited about the RP Story System. I'm almost done with Soulrun's profile na. So far she's got a dead father, a loving mom, a lil bro and uh, a bodyguard who's got a crush on her! LOL~ More and more reasons for me to play! XD

Flush Team with Teh Banana MAU

L-R: Railshark, Zakurestu, Sagiri (inside his BMAU!), Soulrun and Legatosynthesis

Last week we ended up having to let two agents ko. *sigh* It's never easy. But there's nothing that us, the management team can do. It's a good thing though, that the sales have picked up when I started doing the GY confirmation shift again. Which means, no weekend for me. = ( Gah!

Yesterday I had lunch with Carlo. It was, uh awkward. He got me flowers. He knows how much I love flowers when it's raining. But somehow it didn't do anything for me. *sigh*

Anyways, I was able to get some of the stuff I want for my wishlist! Woot~ Haha.. At least I'm going somewhere. ^^; Geez, my back hurts! LOL. I need a back rub or a full body massage! XD Weee~ Something is a making me hyper these past few days. Haha~ *wink* And I like it. I haven't smiled this much in a few months eh. I hope this keeps up, I could use the enthusiasm.

So Not Like the Movies

2006-07-07T04:37:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Someday [Nickelback]
How the hell'd we end up like this?
Why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed?
And try and turn the table..

If there's one thing I realized this past week, it's the fact that life is so not like the movies.

Movie: Boy meets girl and they fall in love. They fight, make up and then live happily ever after.

Real Life: Boy meets girl and they fall in love. They fight. Break up. Boy wants the girl back bust she won't have him. They go their separate ways and might meet someone new along the way.

Movie: Hero/heroine has a lot of problems. He can't cope with it anymore so he/she decides to pull a suicide stint. He survives and everything falls back into place.

Real Life: Hero/Heroine have had enough. Tries to kill him/herself. It's either he/she dies or survives but when he/she wakes up things are still the same.

*Sigh*. Life is so much more complicated. I wish it's just like the movies tho. LOL. Don't we all... Wish for a happy ending?

I Want my Weekend Back!

2006-07-02T16:44:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Over my Head [The Fray]

"Everyone knows I'm in Over my head, over my head

With eight seconds left in overtime

He's on your mind, he's on your mind.."

Wee~ I wasn't able to update in two weeks! I've been quite busy. And when I'm online I'm usually on RF mode, and by the time I'm done playing I'm too tired or sleepy to write anything! XD

Anyways, I've been very busy with work and with helping the agents pick up their numbers. And so far so good. Sales have been good for the past two weeks that I've been doing the midnight shift. On the downside, Tuesday na uli ang day off ko! Which sucks bigtime because (1) Everyone I know is either working or in school and (2) RF maintenance. So there, I'm left to watching One Tree Hill reruns and waiting for the maintenance to end so I could go OL since I can't go out - wala akong kasama X_x. Darn my assistant for not doing what she's s'posed to do! Arghh >_<>

Last week was pretty bad for me. I had dizzy spells. And I even spent one day in bed. Stupid migraine was killing me and won't let me keep anything down. My manager said I might have vertigo, sincee she went through the same things I did. Uh oh. Noo~

Symptoms of Vertigo

- Blurred vision (check - can't see the letters on my keyboard during the dizzy spells)

- Fatigue and reduced stamina (check - I feel tired when I'm not sposed to be.)

- Headache (check - T_T.)

- Heart palpitations (rapid fluttering of the heart) -

Imbalance (check - I can't walk in a straight line. And I tend to lean on my left side nowadays.) - Inability to concentrate (check - Hehe~)

- Increased risk for motion sickness

- Muscle ache (especially of the neck and back)

- Nausea and vomiting (check - Yuck! )

- Reduced cognitive function (i.e., thinking and memory)

- Sensitivity to bright lights and noise (check - I'm not comfortable with earphones stuck to my ears anymore. Wahh~ )

- Sweating (check - I break out in a cold sweat even at midday.)

I'm goin to the doc on my next day off. Right now I just don't have the time.

Moving on. RF was fun fun fun! We had Guild PBH since Thursday! Wee~ Hehe. And I'm lvl 36 na! Woot ^^; More and more people are goin OL in the guild. And I'm glad to have them back. I missed those guys while I was away. I miss Killey tho. Haven't seen him in 2 wks na. The last time we talked he said he's gonna be in Omi to try and get the 15 keens and 15 sets of high gems. I hope he makes the top 100 :). He promised me a set if he wins! >:) I've also accumulated quite a few RF buddies! Yey~ All the more reason to play! So here's my latest batch of RF screenies:

Soulrun, LegatoSynthesis and Kohaku prepping for CW.

Legato, Thiek, Kokahu and Soulrun waiting for teh Pit Boss

First day of Guild PBH. We camped for more than1 hr!

Prolly, Hoseah, Soulrun and snup waiting for the ship to Ether.

Last night with Killey - before his Omi vacation.

G'bye Giga 3

2006-06-20T12:42:00.000+08:00

Listening to: YM! message alerts

Bad day. Tired. Confused. Sleepy. Missing someone. *sigh*

AFK mining mode.

YM with RF buddies and Guildmates.

My last CW for Giga 3

(Just had the urge to post this!)

I will try to update tomorrow. Sooo in need of a hug ~

Thank You

2006-06-16T14:48:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Let Me Go [3 Doors Down]

And no matter how hard I try

I can't escape these things inside

I know, I know

When all the pieces fall apart

You will be the only one who knows, who knows..

Thank you :)

I feel so much better now.

------------------------

Awakening*

When you love, you get hurt

One lesson learned.

You climb up, then slide down

Will you try again?

You treasure your friends

And they stab your back.

You follow your parents

But are they on the right track?

You sing to the tune

and you go with the flow -

But when all's said and done

You end up alone.

"What's the point in living?"

This you might ask.

Life's a bitch, it's true

But then again, no.

Wake up little one

Open your eyes.

The world is cruel

But you ain't all alone.

*From March of 2000

Blur

2006-06-12T14:52:00.000+08:00

Listening to: In the Rough [Anna Nalick]

Now you say you know all you did not know before

And I offer no sympathy for that

I hear that it was you who died alone

And I offer no sympathy for that

Better off I sparkle on my own

And someday love will find me in the rough

Someday love will finally be enough

I shine a little more lately..

First off - more YM! Doodles~ This is the result when I lazed around the net last night after I got home from Sir Mike's place. Went there after the shift with Fong, Ate Rey and Miss Joey. Food trip! XD We hung out, magic sing'd, ate and talked.

Heartbreak comet~

It's a Sunday so I've got nothing to do. I woke up late, did my laundry and showered. Then I had lunch - KFC again >:) And it's RF time~ I leveled 1 LR PT today. Woot~ And had fun chattering in Guild Chat. Spent some time talking with Killey. And it actually made me feel a whole lot better. Thanks, Kil~ (you'd get to read this one day but not now!) .

View from the top - Bellato Water Gap

Killey~

-------------------------------

Blur

Faces, places

Flashes in my mind.

Dreams, promises

Haunting me.

Puzzle pieces

Scattered all around.

Invisible walls -

Not wanting me to see

*This is from way back in 2000. @ Koi - more to come. I'll rummage through my old stuff some more! ^^;

Lost for Words

2006-06-11T12:57:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Breathe [Anna Nalick]

Wanted to write about a lot fo stuff. Im overflowing with feelings right now. But nothing's coming out. So, screenies again.. And song lyrics.

Abstract art?!? >:)

YM! Doodle with Zepp this morning~

Tonight's 9pm CW (we won btw^^;)

--------------------------------------

Breathe [2 am]

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake.. "Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?, I don't love him.. Winter just wasn't my season.."Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes..Like they have any right at all to criticize.. Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason..

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable.. And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table..No one can find the rewind button, girl..So cradle your head in your hands.. And breathe... just breathe.. Oh breathe, just breathe..

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss.."Just a Day", he said down to the flask in his fist.."Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year.."Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while.. But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles.. Wanna hold him.. Maybe I'll just sing about it..

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable.. And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.. No one can find the rewind button, boys.. So cradle your head in your hands.. And breathe... just breathe.. Oh breathe, just breathe..

There's a light at each end of this tunnel.. You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out..And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again..If you only try turning around..

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song.. If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me.. Threatening the life it belongs to.. And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd..Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud.. And I know that you'll use them, however you want to..

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable..And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button now.. Sing it if you understand.. And breathe, just breathe.. Woah breathe, just breathe.. Oh breathe, just breathe.. Oh breathe, just breathe..

....

2006-06-10T11:02:00.000+08:00

Listening to:

He wants me back.

Counselling Sessions

2006-06-09T22:37:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Give Myself to You [Train]
When I find out who I am
I'm gonna know just what to do
When I pull myself together again
I'm gonna give myself to you..

The whole day yesterday was spent in counselling sessions.

~ Texting with a guildmate/friend about some girl issues.

~ YM talk with a guildmate who's having some love problems.

~ New batch of panel counselling for the agents in the office.

~ And uh, texting with Carlo bout his "dad" problems.

Phew! It was pretty stressful to say the least. But I guess I have got to live with it.

Yesterday afternoon came a sudden downpour. It was a relief, for me at least coz it helped me settle into a 4-hr "nap" >:) But on the downside, the power went out for like 30 mins, and I had to shower in the semi-darkness of the bathroom. Good thing it was up again by the time I was ready for my power nap. ^^

Nothing really interesting happened. I just played RF after dinner. I PT'd for a bit, but was 9% short of leveling my Def PT when the call for CW came. So I had to go to Crag. We won! Yesh~ 5K CP and I was able to borrow a 10% dodge amulet from haremru >:) After CW I was not-so-forcefully kidnapped for over 2 hours and was brought to Chink Cave XD.

I'm excited about the whole Bellato GEB thing ^^; I wanna see my HOL family again and meet the guys I wasn't able to meet before. I think it's gonna be on the 1st of July. Weee~

Oh well, I have to go now. Duty calls~

Here is Gone

2006-06-08T22:50:00.000+08:00

Here is Gone [Goo Goo Dolls]

You and I got somethin
But its all and then its nuthin to me, yeah
And I got my defenses
When it comes through your intentions for me, yeah

And we wake up in the breakdown

With the things we never thought we could be, yeah

Im not the one who broke you
Im not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

I am no solution
To the sound of this pollution in me, yeah
And I was not the answer
So forget you ever thought it was me, yeah

Im not the one who broke you
Im not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

And I dont need the fallout
Of all the past thats in between us
And Im not holding on
And all your lies werent enough to keep me here

And I want to get free
Talk to meI can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling

I know its out there
I know its out there
And I can feel you falling

I know its out there
I know its out there
Somehow here is gone, yeah

I know its out there
I know its out there
Somehow here is gone, yeah

This song says it all. And it has made me realize a lot of things. Funny coz I've been listening to it for quite some time now and it didn't hit me, not until yesterday anywyas. It was on "repeat" on my mp3 player the whole day. Listened to it again and again while RF-ing, and also before I slept. Played the song when I woke up, on my way to the office and I'm listening to it as I write this piece.

That's... all i'm saying. For today at least.~

Magic Moments

2006-06-07T22:52:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Heart in Hand [Vertical Horizon]
Pictures and photographs
Memories and windows
Goodbyes and epitaphs
Heartbeats and hellos..

Oh well, I was right. Yesterday was bad for me. I don't know why I felt crappy. Must be from the body pains I'm having. I felt sluggish coz of the painkiller I took. So in effect, the people from the office are getting into my nerves =/. I almost had a row with Niño about some confirmation thing. But we're ok now. LOL ^^;

As scheduled, we had the panel counselling yesterday. Twas Grace and Ate Rey on the hotseat. Honestly I was sleepy, and I was toying with my iPODs headset and pretending to pay attention >:) But of course I wasn't like that the whole time. I was actually expected to say something with sense! So I said something about focusing their energy on just doing their jobs, blah blah.. LOL ^^

Carlo is sick. And his text msgs are making mew uncomfortable =/ *sigh*

When I got home, I took a long shower. And boy it felt nice! I ended up having a 4-hr nap >:) Woke up just in time for dinner. Then it's RF time~ We won the 9pm CW - sooo 5k CP, woot! Rahr~ I didn't die last night. Anyways, here's more RF screenies from last night. Vox wasn't OL, and I promised to take him shopping at the Force NPC. Uh oh..

Close... >:) But we just hang out, ok?

Enjoying the view~ And the conversation..

Under the stars~ TheNovus sky was even in the mood for turning us in last night ^^

Hmm, I'm thinking about taking up photography. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna love it. ^^; Take pictures to compliment the stuff I write about. I can't draw so I might as well just take pictures! XD

Last night we talked about stuff, and magic moments - some concept I got off the book By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept by Paolo Coelho.

[[You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.

Every day, God gives us the sun - and also one moment when we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day, we try to pretend that we haven't perceived that moment, that it doesn't exist - that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if people really pay attention to their everyday lives, they will discover that magic moment. It may arrive in the instant when we are doing something mundane, like putting our front-door key in the lock; it may lie hidden in the quiet that follows the lunch hour or in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. But that moment exists - a moment when all the power of the stars becomes a part of us and enables us to perform miracles.

Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment helps us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments - but all of these are transitory; it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken.

Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks. Perhaps, this person would never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow. But when the person looks back - she will never hear her heart saying "What have you done with the miracles that God planted in your days? What have you done with the talents God has bestowed upon you? You buried yourself in a cave because you were fearful of losing those talents. So this is your heritage, the certainty that you wasted your life.

"Pitiful are the people who must realize this. Because when they are finally able to believe in miracles, their life's magic moments will have already passed them by.'"]]

Wee~ Never fails to make me smile everytime I read it :) I hope today's gonna be a good one. I think it'll be. ^^; I wonder when my magic moment will come today. But I guess I'll know it when it hit me~

Note: I'm now updating in the mornings, since someon'es been hogging all my OL time during the evenings lately >:)

Just RF

2006-06-06T23:27:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Iris [Goo Goo Dolls]

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

Coz sooner of later it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight..

Last night was spent as usual, playing RF. Too lazy to type. My sides hurt from being caught between the elevator doors yesterday.. *grimace*

Winding down after a day's work ^^;

Hanging around Solus Settlement

CW Buddies ~

Over at Windy Bluff - taking in the ocean view ^^

Aww, I have panel counselling later. Dunno what I'm gonna say to them agents. I bet it'd be hard to keep a straight face! XD I have a feeling its gonna be another stressful day *sigh*.

Buti na lang may RF later~

Memories of Summer

2006-06-05T23:57:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Slide [Goo Goo Dolls]
Could you whisper in my ear
The things you wanna feel
I'll give you anything
To feel it comin'..

There has been more than quite a few thunderstorms the past few days. Reminds me that summer is already over. It's already June anyways.. *sigh* So I've decided to make this entry as a tribute to the summers of my life (the one's I could remember, that is). Coz I have just recently realized that things happen for me during summer..

Summer or '93:
Summer before I enter 4th grade. Took the SPED exam and passed so I transferred schools. And uh, yeah.. This summer I also took Theater Arts classes and I kinda impressed my Instructor. LOL ^^

Summer of '94:
Scenario - I am in my new school's oval. Waiting for my sister's summer classes to end. The wind was blowing nicely. Meanwhile, I busy myself with catching the petals falling off from the firetrees that surround the oval. I was swirling and swirling - making a wish every time I catch a petal..

Summer of '96:
Summer before I start HS. It was a blur, that's all I can remember. Something about me not knowing which school to go to because I got accelerated and finished grade school a year early..

Summer of '98:
CMLI Summer Camp in Lucban Quezon. Twas fun :)

Summer of '99:
Summer before my Senior Year. CAT Officers Training. Spent 2 weeks out of the House in CAT Boot Camp! =P It was hellish and fun at the same time. Wake up at 3am.. Breakfast.. Jog.. Drills.. Lecture.. Lunch.. Lecture..Physical Activities.. Dinner.. Lights out.. or Guard Duty. Imagine having to cook for 75 people! Eek >.<

This is also the time of UPCAT reviews, and going around my HS friend's house. Lots of sleepovers and swimming escapades.. Roasting tilapia on the beach and me swimming wearing my jeans! :)

And oh, this is when I met ex # 1, though it was one of his friends who's a got a thing for me back then..

Summer of 2000:
Out of HS and off to college. This was spent shuttling to and fro Manila and Aklan. Enrolled in UP, then went back home to spend my last summer there. Ex # 1 and I are together this time - our first summer. He was at my place everyday. From around lunchtime until late in the evening. then we'd talk on the phone until the wee hours of the morning when he gets home..

Summer of '01:
First Collge summer! Spent it in Aklan, catching up with friends. And spending lots of time with ex # 1. We didn't know it's gonna be our last summer together..

Summer of '02:
I can proudly say I'm over ex #1 by this time. Carlo became my boyfriend, and Xave gave me one of his "I told you so.." comments when I told him about it. Summer classes for Algebra.. Eeek >.<

Summer of '03:
Carlo and mine's best summer.. Summer getaway at his Lola's place in Quezon, which he didn't tell his dad about. LOL :)

Summer of '04:
My sister's debut. Had a two-week vacation in Aklan with Carlo. He met my folks and my mum loved him. Went to Bora too..

Spent most of this summer at Ayn's place. Carlo and I hung out with Ahmed, Angel, Gladys, Eric and Nicky a lot. The talk was about Magic Cards and movies. Spent lots of nights at Ayn's place trying to comfort her..

Carlo and I had a big fight over some guy I befriended in RO, and over Angel's s'posed crush on me. LOL >:)

My last summer as a student..

Summer of '05:
Desperately wanting to go back to Aklan, if only for a few days.

Also considered resigning from ePac..

This summer:
Got promoted. Lots of adjustments at work..

Rough time with Carlo.. Too much fights about time, priorities and a bunch of other crap. It ended after 4 years..

But we are still friends though..

Now I have a lot of time for myself. I'm still getting used to this being on my own thing though.. But I think I'm doing good.

Went to lots of movies with my office friends. Saturday nights alone at Jollibee plaza and crashing at Ms Joey's or Sir Mike's place :)

Got in touch with old friends. I also got to think about what I wanna do with my life. Right now, I just wanna take it one day at a time. So much for making plans. :)

I went back to RF and enjoyed every pixelated moment of it. Met a whole bunch of new people, including a lone gunman who describes himself as a deep thinker), and has taken to calling me Tamashi-can (Tamashi = nihongo for Soul). He has made it a habit to kidnap me and whisk me off someplace I've never been to everytime, with the fireworks and all. The other day we spent 10 hours, just talking. We're both suckers for good conversation I guess.

Last night - Bellato Water Garden (Reminded me of Ferngully ^^;)

This summer is all about choices. And so far I'm happy where I am.

All About RF

2006-06-02T12:04:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Stay with You [Goo Goo Dolls]

The past few days was pretty much eneventful. Production is good. I feel super. Everything is going well so far. See, I was right when I said May was actually gonna be a good month for me ^^

My sister was s'posed to come over from the province and stay with me for a while as she hunts the metropolis for a job but it didn't push through. Oh well.. I'm not gonna be any good at baby-sitting her, that much I know XD. And considering the fact that she ain't half as independent as I am, I'm gonna have a hard time once she's here. Nooo~

[[For Jon: I'm so sorry to hear bout your dad. I've known you briefly, and fleetingly if you will but I just wanna say that it meant a lot to me when you still seeked me out for comfort when your dad passed away the other day; even if I refused to answer your sms msgs and your calls and I've been hiding from you in YM for the past week. I'm glad I got to make you feel a lil bit better, but right now I don't have room for further complications. I know you meant well but I'm sorry. ]]

RF has been keeping me busy ^_~. My renewed interest in the game was surprising. I think it's a mixture of different factors though - one, I missed the game; two, I needed the distraction; three, I've met new people who I can exchange playful banter with during the rigorous PT grinding; and four, because lately the Guild's slowly coming back to life (which, I hope goes on XD!)I actually got Soulrun to lvl 35 with decent PTs. Woot~ got promoted to Caters na! Phew, I was glad I didn't PL when I was so tempted to ^^. And I got a new suit - a purple one at that (with my tummy exposed!), as well as a new bow. There's an alliance between Bellato and Cora and we've been winning the CW's alternately since Friday - which is good for my CP, haha~ And yeah, vox is playing RF too. Now I have a lil Bellato brother!

I've been spending quite a lot of OL time RF guy lately. PT grind, then 9PM CW, then more PT grinding. After last night's CW we made our first trip out to Ether where he indulged my screenie frenzy. And he brought fireworks! (Points at screenshot ^ and then points to wishlist <<< ) Afterwards came more PT grinding, and me being killed a lot of times; the reason being: Guild and Party chat, LOL :D We got carried away by the whole RP'ing theme. And an hour or so before we logged off, we abandoned shooting those bots (which he referred to as cousins of Zaide 3,000 times removed!) and just stood amidst the billowing snowstorm talking about... stuff. He actually got to calling me his fraulein. Oh my, I have an RF crush. Haha~

It's amazing how RF can make me run away from it all. Just for a few hours each day, I'm free if my worries. Like my Dad's and my sister's cold war that has been raging for almost a week; or about my say regarding the sensitive matter of who gets to keep their job and who gets sacked; or wondering why people can say they love me but can't understand me.. *sigh*

I can't get this song out of my head.

Provided By MetroLyrics

Maybe because deep down it's what I really wanna do..

I Could fall in Love with James Blunt

2006-05-28T20:06:00.000+08:00

Listening to: YOU and Me [Lifehouse]
There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything he does is beautiful
Everything he does is right..

Random Thought: You read that right. I could fall in love with James Blunt or Teddy Geiger (if he's older!) or Jason Wade - if they were normal guys. Or let's just say if I met someone like them I'd prolly fall for him >:)

Anyways, it's been a while since I've updated. So I'll do my best to catch up :)

You wouldn't believe who was waiting outside our gate Wednesday morning - Carlo! I was genuinely surprised to see him and glad at the same time. He walked me all the way to KFC and waited until I could get a ride to the office. We hung out after my shift at INGEN where I kicked his ass playing DOTA :) Ate Candy and Rose kept asking about us. If we're really not together and all that stuff. They just couldn't believe it!

Thursday was a blur. All I know is that it went ok. DOTA again with Carlo and I partied with RF guy during CW, then we went PT training after.

Friday was bad. My migraine was killing me. I went straight to sleep after the shift but I still woke up with my head throbbing. Nonetheless, played DOTA with Carlo and his crew at INGEN then went to CW alone.

Today was much better. Production is good ^^ I went OL after the shift coz there's 2x PT again, wee~ RF guy's OL and he said sorry he wasn't OL Friday night. LOL :) We chatted the whole afternoon off. Then I've got to sleep and he's gotta go do something for his dad. He asked if he could see me later (9PM CW). I can't help but wonder, is that the online equivalent of asking a girl out for another date? XD But I turned him down, told him I can't coz I've got to sleep then go to work :) After RF I went back to reading Angels and Demons and I was able to finish the book, woot~ I found that I liked it better than DVC. It's much more exciting XD. I tried to sleep after reading the book but it was so freaking humid. Thank goodness it rained hard - then I was able to sleep. But I got scared of the lightning though (yesh~! I'm scared of lightning). When I woke up it was no longer raining. It actually felt cool outside. Then I got a text from Carlo informing me he's already back in Calamba. Oh well.. *sigh*

Today's my last night doing the GY confirmation shift. Starting next week I'm on normal schedule again. Mon-Sat 6am-1pm :) More RF time! But seriously though, I really ought to adopt a new hobby now that I've got plenty of time to do other stuff. Right now I'm at the PCSI office - leeching off their internet connection and their phone line XD. The AVR at J-bee plaza short-circuited on me when I turned it on, killing the power in the whole office. And once again, I was alone in the dark. I was so pissed I didn't have time to be scared. Though I know for a fact that our boss's dad's ghost lurks in there. Good thing it didn't take Ritch long to get to me. He brought me spaghetti (his wife made it)! *yum* and we decided to just transfer here.

Err, I'm hungry again. So I'll just cut this short. And I want my coffee~

Wash Day Blues

2006-05-24T08:15:00.000+08:00

Listening to: For You I Will [Teddy Geiger]
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will...

I woke up at 8 am, but I lounged around my bed until about 10. I had a cup of coffee and proceeded to do my laundry. I usually hate washing clothes. But on this particular day I was actually looking forward to doing it. And amidst the din of the machine, I actually got to thinking about stuff and I emerged from the laundry room feeling surprisingly refreshed. I showered for almost an hour and enjoyed every second of it, then I took my sweet time figuring out what to wear before finally deciding on capri pants and a chinese blouse. I went out and had lunch by myself (fried chicken, yey~).

Then it's RF time. I was just in time for the 1 PM CW. Oh well, we lost. If it's any consolation though BCC didn't break. It was the Corite's chip that was busted to pieces. 2x PT is over so there wasn't a lot of people around. I spent a good part of the afternoon hanging around Dry Moor and Twin Cave - killing every Brutal in sight. But I was bored to tears coz I have got nobody to talk to. I made more than a few lame attempts to start a conversartion but the people there just didn't wanna talk :(

[[Soulrun: Oh, where are you when I need you?

Mitch: Off watching DVC, I believe..]]

So to save my sanity, I logged off.

It's my day off, sure. But I've got my Ops Manager still hounding me in YM about last week's production report. I mean it could wait until tomorrow, right? >.<

Oh crap. It rained. So much for trying to be in a good mood. I hope I'd feel better later.

30 days

2006-05-23T14:32:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Blind [Lifehouse]
After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

Today it's been a month since Carlo and I broke up.

What's up with me? Not much XD. Just..

work..

sleep..

eat..

taking lots of showers XD..

zoning out..

RF - spent half the night with that guy from the previous post :)

And I've been a bad girl >:)

Woot~ It's my day off tomorrow :) I can stay up late and wake up late. And more RF time, after I do my laundry of course and clean up my room.

Ooh, yeah..

~ Happy Birthday Vox ~

*hugs*

RF Dates and Ex-Boyfriends

2006-05-21T18:18:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Echo [Incubus]
Won't you show me dear
Something I've not seen
Something infinitely interesting..

Work went fine today. Everybody was excited since it's the weekend for them already - not for me though. Anyways, I went straight home after my shift, had lunch at One Fat and then RF mode~

I spent the whole afternoon with that guy ^ (points at picture). I'm not gonna say who. LOL. (He's not from HOL so you can stop wondering now! XD) It was actually fun. It was the first time in years that I spent a considerable amount of OL time with a guy without worrying about anything. Eg : a jealous bf. Haha~ Anyways, today's PT grinding wasn't a drag at all. I really had fun with him. Well, he's smart and I like that. I learned quite a few things from him today. We talkeed about stuff - B movies, surperheroes, RF (of course), as well as worms and bugs among other things. By 6pm I was beat, so I logged off.

Early in the game I had screenies with Zepplin at Cannon Alley. I didn't know they'd turn up like these coz Zepp took em. LOL~

After RF I was about to sleep. But I ended up watching the OC rerun on ETC instead. I went to my room after the episode but I couldn't sleep. My body's tired but my mind's on something else. I think I was able to fall asleep at 8:30. Was s'posed to be up by 10pm, but I woke up at 11. LOL :D And Carlo was kinda pissed why I'm not answering his msgs. I was asleep for Pete's sake! And uh, he doesn't have the right to be mad anymore if I'm not answering right? I was almost late for work. And when I logged in to YM EX # 1 saw me before I could click on stealth settings for Ex # 1 = permanently offline. Oh well, figure this one out:

ex # 1: ello
me: hello
ex # 1: musta araw mo?
me: ok lng
me: normal day
ex # 1: ^^
ex # 1: bahay k ba ngaun?
me: ofc
ex # 1: ahh
me: may shift ako pag sat
me: 12 am to 6 am
ex # 1: wat tym usual duty mo?
ex # 1: icee
me: 6am to 1 pm
ex # 1: ahh
ex # 1: taka ako its kinda late tas ol ka pa^^
me: LOL
ex # 1: ^_^
ex # 1: musta na ne?
me: e bat ikaw OL k rin
me: LOL
me: ok lng
ex # 1: musta buhay buhay those past 5 yirs?
me: LOL
ex # 1: adik mode eh
me: im all goo
me: *good
me: haha
ex # 1: cld u elaborate that?
me: LOL
me: that was like 5 yrs
ex # 1: aw
ex # 1: y LOL?
me: where do u expect me to start?
ex # 1: hmmm..kaw
ex # 1: kaw nakakaalam sa buhay mo^^
me: LOL
me: not in the mood to make kwento .
ex # 1: haha
ex # 1: aw
ex # 1: hmmm
ex # 1: la lang
ex # 1: uhmm ne
me: yeah?
ex # 1: i was thinking if theres still a chance na maibalik ung closeness ntin before?
me: LOL
me: i doubt
ex # 1: and why is that?
me: LOL
ex # 1: huh?
ex # 1: im serious
me: i just have this feeling that's not gonna be possbile
me: well i am too
ex # 1: bket naman?
me: bakit ano?
ex # 1: pano mo nasabing it wont be posible?
me: its a gut feeling, ok?
ex # 1: hmmm
ex # 1: guess mali feeling mo
ex # 1: ^_^
me: haha
ex # 1: but cld we try it?
me: no
ex # 1: y?
me: im not willing to
ex # 1: ket?
me: gawd
me: ang kulit mo >.<

ex # 1: i am

ex # 1: ket nga?

me: let's just leave it this way

me: i mean we're talking again, aren't u happy with that?

ex # 1: happy naman

ex # 1: but all those yirs hinanap kita

me: oh really?

ex # 1: there re things na alam kong ikaw lang ang pede kong kausapin

me: err.. ganun?

ex # 1: uhuh

ex # 1: the fact is i need u, the way u see things na di ko makita.. lam mo nung wala ka,i felt i was so alone

me: haha~

me: i'm not gonna say anything more..

ex # 1: u know me better than i knew myself

me: i'd end up diggin' shit i buried years ago

ex # 1: otey...

ex # 1: wag na nting halungkatin pa

ex # 1: pero..

ex # 1: pede start uli tau?

me: i said NO

ex # 1: okies

Oh well, bahala sya sa buhay nya! *ebul laugh*

Went to Mega w/ Ms Joey and Sir Mike yesterday. We had a seafood lunch and then we went to Powerbooks. Lots of books I loved! I wanna get all of them! So starting next payday I'm gonna have a portion of my salary saved up for books. Yey~ And yeah, I'm gonna go get me 1 or 2 pairs of drawstring pants. They're uber comfy and Ritch said I looked good on them. Wonder when I could go shopping.. *eyes lights up*

I couldn't stop listening to Echo. It's sexy and sensitive and romantic at the same time. I need someone to show me something infinitely inteteresting - whatever that is :) I also can't get Good out of my head. This one's for Carlo:

Well, maybe I'll call or write you a letter

Now, maybe we'll see on the Fourth of July

But I'm not too sure, and I'm not too proud

Well, I'm not too sure and I'm not too proud to say -

Aha, it was good living with you

Aha, it was good

Aha, it was good living with you

Aha, it was good..

LOL~ I'm going back to work. I'm thinking too much again.

Playing the Field

2006-05-20T09:24:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Good [Better than Ezra]

Happy 20th B-day to My Dear Sister Mae!

I'm not sure if I'm right about this one but I think a married man was flirting with me today. I don't wanna be assuming or anything. Crap! He asked if we could go have lunch sometime, or watch DVC together. I turned him down of course. Basta. He was getting fresh. Telling me how good I looked and how great my personality is. Blah blah.. Grr.. He even had the nerve to ask me if I ever had a relationship with a married man! What irks me the most is the fact that I saw him as a nice guy. All the while I thought he was just being friendly. I was dead wrong.

Uh yeah, I mentioned dating once in a while but I didn't mean married men! And I also didn't mean rekindling the flames with an ex who chatead on you and tells you 5 years later that he's missing you like hell. Haha~ This is pathetic. They are pathetic!

I'm pissed. And not in the mood to blog. So, RF mode. But before that -

Flirting quiz!

You Are a Natural Flirt

Believe it or not, you're a really effective flirt.And you're so good, you hardly notice that you're flirting.Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt.And the fact that you don't know it is just that more attractive!

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

Ok. I dint't play RF just yet. Blog Quiz spam with rolf and vox (YM conf). Somehow lifted my mood. I feel like myself again. Here's a few that stood out:

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!
Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.
You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you.

You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable
Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life
By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover.

Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.
Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.
No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can.
War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace.
You are a good mediator and a true negotiator.
Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy.

While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental.
You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take.
On the flip side, you've got a graet sense of humor and wit.
You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice.

Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

DVC to RF, and All Things in Between

2006-05-18T23:36:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Coral Sky [Dishwalla]
Hey, don't let the sun go down
Don't let it end here now
Cause you're right, and I'm everything you're not
Could I ever be the one

Yey~ I am not sick anymore, and I've got plenty of time to spare to update :)

Watched The Davinci Code with the guys from the office after the shift. It was uh, pretty much like the book. I wasn't expecting Teabing to be that old though. LOL. SM decided not to show te film so everyone flocked to Robinson's instead. There were like 5 cinemas showing DVC. But still, there's a lot of people considering the fact that it's only a Thursday. Imagine what it's gonna be like during the weekend! The 7 of us ended up getting seats on the second row though we arrived early. Crap, my neck hurts. I even dozed three times during the movie. I got dizzy from the screen being too close to me, and I lack sleep too. I was up until 1 am last night, texting and reading.

Last night I got three guys telling me that they miss me. Haha~ Carlo, Aaron and Xave. Oh well, I really do not know how to react. Carlo's been up and down since we broke up. The last time I saw him, he lost weight. He's somewhat not the same anymore :( Last night he said he's missing his friend - me.

Xave, a friend I met in college asked me out last night. But I told him I've already got plans for today. So we'll just go out next time. He said he's hoping he could see me again, he missed me. Well, I hope he understood what I told him years ago - that we could only be friends.

Aaron (my other ex) and I had a decent conversation after almost 5 years! He tracked me down thru friendster. I actually had a decent chat with him today. I found out that he's smoking like hell though he swore off smoking cause his dad died of lung cancer. And I'm afraid he's also bulimic, he said he throws up everytime he eats. Cripes. Anyways, he said he some stuff about him being too fragile when alone and me not being there during the darkest times in his life. And he said he's happy to talk to me coz missed me so much. He asked if we could go out. I said I'm gonna think about it. Haha~ As if.. Men! *rolls eyes*

Honestly speaking I'm enjoying being single. I think I'm gonna go this way for a while. My heart's safe, and my mind's at peace XD. Well, maybe I could go out on dates once in a while to break the monotony ^^.

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Kind Magician.
Where You Lived: Alaska.
How You Died: Natural causes.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

A kind magician?!? WTF! ~_~

Uh oh, time check. It's almost 9, gotta attend CW :)

Sick

2006-05-17T09:16:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Myself [Coughing and sneezing and sniffing]

I've been sick since Saturday, so I wasn't able to update. Anyways, here's a rundown of what happened the past few days:

Sunday:
Got stuck on the 20th floor of Jollibee plaza because on a blackout around 1:30 am. Took about 30 mins for the power to come back. And uh, did I mention I was ALONE in the whole floor?

Monday:
Still sick. Was late for work. Payday - woot! Carlo and I went to Megamall together. Yes, it's our 2nd friendly date. LOL. Went grocery shopping too, and he carried my shopping bags! :) Friends with benefits? Hell, yeah!

Today:
Wee~ It's my day-off and it's 2x PT/drop/mine rate at Altrax coz Bellato won the Arms race. I'm still a bit sick though, but playing my a** off! :D Carlo went back to Laguna na nga pala..

Gah! I can't think straight. Must be from all the meds I took. Will update when i'm coherent. Rawr~ ^^

Rainy Day Adventures

2006-05-14T14:47:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Unspoken [Natasha Bedingfield]
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else..

It's been raining non-stop for two days now. And that's the same length of time that I haven't been home. Right now I'm in the Jollibee plaza office, killing time. So I blog, as Typhoon Caloy blows out his fury outside..

I left for work yesterday morning (Friday) , thinking that it's just gonna be a normal workday. It was Sir Mike's B-day, woot! When I got to work I sent him some bogus email asking him to click on the URL for his b-day blog. He was surprised, I could tell. ^^ After the shift everyone in the GEVC account dropped by Jollibee plaza since there's pizza waiting for us! *yummy* The b-day treat ain't over. Miss Joey, Sir Mike, Bonito, Ate Rey and I watched Poseidon at Robinson's Galleria. It was good. I don't wanna say anything more since I might spoil it for those who haven't watched yet.

After the movie, Ate Rey and I dropped by Megamall to pick up the stuff we need for Ms Joey's B-day surprise for her babuy - baloons, gifts, etc. while she dragged Sir Mike to her place to have a CSI Las Vegas marathon! We ended up purchasing 2 dozen silver and blue balloons, blue boxers, white sleeveless shirt, a navy blue shirt and the latest copy of FHM (with Eula Valdez on teh cover). We finished shopping at around 5:45 PM, but it was so freaking hard to catch a cab home.

I had the highlight of my day when I was crossing the street, with a dozen balloons held over my head and the rain falling down. It felt like a scene out of a movie or a music video. People were looking at me, and smiling too! I guess it cheered them up a bit, seeing some girl walking in the rain with balloons and smiling foolishly though everything's gray and dreary that late afternoon! ^^ To me it was almost like getting flowers in the pouring rain. I wonder who's gonna bring me flowers now? Haha~

We ended up sharing a van for hire with a woman who lives in Acacia Lane and three teenage girls who got off at Shaw Blvd. The woman actually mistook us for college students! ROFLMAO! Me maybe, but ate rey? She needs to have her eyes checked, seriously. When we got to Mandaluyong, we fixed up Sir Mike's room. I placed the boxers, shirts, FHM and gift stubs in a white box with blue and white wrapping tissue. Then we covered the floor and his bed with balloons. And it turned out great! I'll post the pics later, promise :) By the time we were done it was too late for me to come home to Pasig, so I slept in Ate Rey's room. Good thing I brought clothes with me!

Sir Mike's B-day Surprise Pics

Got to work early today. Haha~ And now I know what kind of accent I have. I was talking to a client today when he suddenly blurted out: "I bet you're from New York. I can hear the accent, coz I'm from Philadelphia !" Ok. So I'm a New Yorker now. Ha ha ha.

After the shift today I stayed with Ms Josy and Sir Mike and watched 2 CSI episodes. Then we left for Pier One. Sir Marlo and Sir James were there already, as well as Bonito, Fong, Gilbert and Rey. Boss Lee came round bout 5pm - and the drinking started! Too bad for me I have work now and I got the colds. I only got to drink bottomless iced tea, and ate to me heart's content! I must've downed like 10 glasses, and got drunk with laughter! It's fun watching them all get wasted and say/do stupid things! We shared a table with the owners of Pier One (since they were Boss Lee's friends) and they gave us our Pier One Privilege Cards! ^^

We left at about 10, Ritch and his wife Janet drove me here (to the office). Right now I'm all alone in the 2oth floor of Jollibee Plaza. I wonder if Queenie will come tonight, I sure as hell hope she does. I could use the company =/

I'm cold. So I'm gonna brew some coffee. Coffee, anyone?

P.S. Oh yeah, I saw him today after 3 months. It was uh, kinda awkward. Not gonna elaborate. Coz he just might read this!

Busy but Happy ^^

2006-05-11T13:08:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Best I Ever Had [Vertical Horizon]
"...And it may take some time to patch me up inside..."

Weee~ I can't believe it's almost Friday already..

Anyways, I got lots of things to be happy about!

Soulrun got to lvl 33 *dances around*

It rained yesterday, and today too - yahoo! (it ain't as HOT as the past few weeks)

I got 30% Book to Show Percentage last week~ (the highest we've got so far)

Heck, my work load is getting heavier and heavier but I actually welcome the challenge! By the way my Refresher Course went A-Ok yesterday, my Ops Director and Training Manager loved it! ^^

Saturday night is night out with the BIG bosses - yey! I opted to have Ate Rey as my date! Gay friends are so great, haha~

And Monday is payday! *big grin*

Ok, back to work! Haha~ Will update later! LOL :P

[First Part Published at 8:20 AM]

-------------------------

My shift went ok, not super but not crappy either. Everything just felt "lighter" after Ms Joey had the talk with Bonito and Ritchie yesterday. After the shift I had lunch at Megamall with Ms Joey, S'myk and Ate Rey. We even saw Jun and Queenie there. LOL :P

Got home around 2:30 then I showered, so I could sleep. Right bout 4 pm my cell woke me up, it was Carlo. He's sad daw, coz everything seems to be going wrong with his life right now. Uh, oh. We texted until 5:30, him being in Calamba and me being here in Pasig and I tried my best to cheer him up. I was partly successful, up until the part where his dad scolded him again. I actually like this set up better. We stopped having those petty fights, I can do whatever I want. We're good friends, goddammit. In fact we're going out for another friendly date on Tuesday. But deep inside, it actually makes me feel guilty that right now he's the one who's broken *sigh*

Anyways, went to Ingen after that and played RF (that's when I took Soulrun's screenies ^^). I played 1 on 1 DOTA with Shaider. Then the guys invited us over for a 5 on 5 game. LOL =P Twas weird playing with those guys! I was used to playing with Carlo's barkada, not other people. I didn't get to finish the game coz my PC rebooted, without me doing anything =/. Anyways, it was fun tho. Especially when I get to pawn those guys' heads (/gg) and they couldn't complain because they know it's a girl who killed them! LOL =P

Right about now, I'm hungry. So I think that's it for today :)

Moving On

2006-05-08T12:09:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Walking Away [Lifehouse]

"...From all that you made, that you lost or threw away; Traded in for a brand new life; But I can't, can't let go.. can't turn around; Hold my head high and walk away..."

Wee~ It's early sunday evening. Just had a KFC dinner (oh God, think I'm gonna sprout em wings soon!) I got home from work around 9:30 today. I was awake for 24++ hours, as usual =P. Spent saturday afternoon at Sir Mike's place with ate rey and ms joey just hanging out and watching videos from their Bora vacation last year :) Then later when it was just ate rey and me, we watched Skeleton Key (w/ Kate Hudson) on dvd, had a corned beef dinner, watched PBB, and MTV Asia Awards (up until Fave Artist for Philippines w/c Rivermaya won BTW) because I had to leave for my midnight shift. Good thing I had my overnight bag with me. LOL :P I think every Saturday I should have one with me since I always end up crashing at someone else's place!

I got to Emerald Ave quarter to 12 MN. I passed by 711 for my food supply XD and continued to Jollibee Plaza. Like every Saturday night for the past 2 months, I was by myself. Imagine going up the 20th flr of an almost empty building at 12 MN - alone. When I got to the 20th flr, the lights were out and I'm the only one in there!

Queenie was late, she came around 1:30! Good thing I was in a good mood. I didn't have anything to do, I started on my pet project - Sir Mike's b-day Blog (http://mikeebob.blogspot.com). It's a surprise we have for him for his b-day on May 12 :)

I had another marathon chat sesison with that someone who stays up with me :) We talked about his job, family and realtionships. He finally told me why he was so cold towards people - he got hurt, bad. We also talked about me moving on :) Speaking of moving on, here's another

ym chat I had (with vox dei) :

Vox Dei: Wui~ Muzta na? ^_^
Angelfyre005: hello
Vox Dei: hi
Angelfyre005: hehe
Angelfyre005: eto ala magawa
Angelfyre005: hehe
Vox Dei: Ahehe..
Vox Dei: owkie ka na?
Angelfyre005: yup, im all good
Angelfyre005: hehe
Vox Dei: >_<

Angelfyre005: batet?

Vox Dei: ker lang. yaw ko iyak ate ko... >_<

Angelfyre005: uu..

Angelfyre005: di nako umiyak

Angelfyre005: after nung wed di na

Angelfyre005: sabi ko sa sarili ko last na yun

Vox Dei: >_<

Angelfyre005: hehe

Vox Dei: moved on?

Angelfyre005: moving on..

[Cut! *hugs vox* ]

I guess I really am ok. I don't get those random episodes when I suddenly wanna burst out in tears. We still text though. And just a while ago I found out he's sick. Too stressed I guess, his folks are having problems. He mentioned something about his mom leaving for the States. *sigh*

Oh well, I can't think straight! Too many people IMing me on ym! Haha~

Anniversaries

2006-05-06T09:45:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Someday [Nickelback]

"...Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright but not right now..."

Woke up at 4:30 AM, got to work at 6. Got pissed before the 9 AM break, let out steam and was ok again. Ate at Mocha Blends with Ms. Joey, S'myk, Queenie (who's having an LQ with her bf Jun), and Ritch who footed the bill for breakfast! XD

Got off work at 12:30, went to the other office to collect my SPIF and allowance from Chupabz. Yey~ Lunch with the same people I had breakfast with courtesy of KFC delivery. Had a bunch of laughs. Went home by 2. Traffic's bad so I got home by 3.

Showered. Played RF and leveled 1 def PT. Got bored. So I edited my blog layout (again!). Filled the empty spaces at the bottom of the side panel with pictures. And ramblings. Then created this post.

I'm gonna have dinner in few minutes. Then maybe do some laundry. Afterwhich I'm gonna watch TV. Get sleepy, take another shower. And sleep.

End.

I almost forgot, today was supposed to be out 4th year anniversary. My sis sent me a note on Friendster asking me: "Uh oh, Single?" (Mitchie Girl - Female, 21,Single). She knows. And she cried.

Also, it's my parents 22nd wedding anniversary. What an irony. Oh well, tough luck.

Just. Friends.

2006-05-05T08:20:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Goodbye to You [Michelle Branch]

"... And when the stars fall I will lie awake. Your'e my shooting star.."

We're just gonna be friends for the time being. At least I know that now. I came to terms with this fact after we had our first "friendly date" in 4 years yesterday...

We met up at Megamall after my shift. I felt funny. For the first time in years we didn't actually kiss when we met up; we didn't hold hands when we walked; we didn't hug after not seeing each other for 2 weeks; he didn't say, "Hi Baby!"; instead he greeted me with "Hi kulit!" Heck, it felt weird!

We had lunch at Tokyo Tokyo since I was craving for Ika fry. I was really stiff at first, and he asked why I'm so nervous, so I made up some lame excuse that I couldn't even remember now. We watched MI-3, at that was even weirder. I felt uncomfortable just sitting there in the dark. He kept asking me if I'm ok, and I kept saying I'm just cold. Normally, he would've put his arms around me but this time he didn't. He actually blamed it on me not bringing a sweater. Oh well..I was uncomfortable but I actually enjoyed the movie. XD

Anyways, after the movie we strolled around megamall for a bit. Went to the usual shops we visit and spent a couple hundred bucks in Timezone. Then we went home. We talked a lot. But not about the things that we really ought to talk about. When we got to Pasig we played DOTA at Ingen where I kicked his ass! LOL :P We had dinner together at the usual place and started talking about more serius stuff. He asked me about work, etc. Then he asked me how I really am. I said I don't know..

After dinner we hung around our usual spot and talked more. Before I knew it, twas already 10 PM and I have to say goodnight. I have work at 6am. Then he asked of he could hug me one last time. I said ok. He held me, and I cried..

Last night I had the answers to my questions.

How are you supposed to forget?

- You won't, because the heart will always remember.

How does one pick up the pieces?

- You don't, you move on.

How will you make it on your own?

- You will, somehow. Coz you always have.

----------------------

And I play this song over and over..

Goodbye to You [Michelle Branch]

Of all the things I believe in

I just want to get it over with tears from behind my eyes but I do not cry

Counting the days that past me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul

Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old

Looks like I'm starting all over again T

he last three years were just pretend and I say

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I love

The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes

And it seems like I can't live a day without you C

losing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away

To a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to everything I thought

I knew You were the one I love

The one thing that I tried to hold on to

It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time

I want whats yours and I want whats mine

I want you but I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I love T

he one thing that I tried to hold on

And when the stars fall and I lie awake

Your'e my shooting star..

Day Off

2006-05-03T07:19:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Shimmer [Fuel]
..."Coz I have found, all that shimmers in this world is sure to fade away - again.."

Wee~

Today's my day off, and I got up late. But lo and behold, when I woke up I have one sms msg from my Ops Manager asking me to send her a copy of the Minutes of the Meeting we had yesterday. LOL =P So I had a quick breakfast, and went about typing the minutes then sent it out. S'myk (our training manager) was OL and asked me to read the new GEVC Training Manual - which was like 40 pages! I made a few suggestions, and then he told me to rest since it's my day off anyways. It makes me feel good that he included the guide that I made when GEVC was just starting out to the comprehensive manual. I think he's serious about pulling me out of Ops and making me a trainer! XD

I had lunch alone. And since I haven't got anything better to do I decided to play RF. I was just in time for the 1 pm CW. I got killed, but it's ok coz we won! XD Gah, I can't level up! Too many raiders. So I'm blogging, instead of PT grinding!

Nothing to do, so Blog Quiz Time!

You Are More Mild Than Wild

You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are.Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.

Are You Hot?

First of May

2006-05-02T10:44:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Cool Off [Session Road]
..."Palayain ang isa't isa.. Kung tayo, tayo talaga..."

I woke up feeling good today. I even caught myself humming a tune while walking across the almost empty parking lot on my way to the office. And what's funny is that I was talking to myself and smiling at at the same time. It's not a wonder why some people are looking at me funny. I couldn't care less. Haha~ Coz I am happy (I'm a shooting star! XD)

I enjoy my early morning walks, when the sun is just warm enough to wake my sleeping limbs and I can feel the breeze caressing my face. I used to hate waking up early, but then I realized that the world actually looks different in the morning. It's just so peaceful :) I like seeing the old woman who does her exercise at the back of the Taipan Building and the occasional joggers who pass me by. I like the emptiness of the parking lots around Emerald Avenue, and watching the spaces fill up as the day grows older. There's just something so poetic about it. I remember when our office was still in Prestige Tower, I used to cut a whole sheet of bond paper into smaller pieces and then throw it out of the 25th floor window, making a wish and watching them get blown by the wind and landing on the roofs of the cars parked in the lot below.

Anyways, it's a whole new month. Another clean slate, a fresh start. May is gonna be a happy month, I think. Flowers bloom the prettiest in May right? So I just have this gut feeling that this month is gonna be good for me :) Crazy notion? Not! It's my rent's 22nd wedding anniversary on Friday and I still haven't gotten a gift for them. Uh oh.. And it's my sister's 20th birthday on the 19th. She's asking for a new mp3 player, so I think that's what I'm gonna get her~

I went back to playing RF last Sunday, and it's funny coz I'm using the controls for DOTA! LOL! I kept on pressing F1! And much worse, I kept on pressing the right click button for character movement. Speak about being away too long.. Anyways, it was fun. I missed playing the game. And oh, I was able to borrow an Intense Seige Bow from Sagiri! Yey~ I also partied with a few guildmates when I got home from the office today and managed to get to level 32! XD But I'm tired, and those meat chilos are making fresh meat out of me so I figured I'm gonna play again tomorrow - when I'm in the mood for running around. ^^

That's all for now. I've got reports to finish so I'll post more tomorrow, since it's my day off and I haven't got anything to do.

Blue Sky

2006-04-30T17:24:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Blue Sky [Hale]
..."Coz there's a blue sky waiting tomorrow; Waiting tomorrow; Shining and shimmering.."

I'm in the office right now, doing the midnight shift. I've got queenie doing the confirmation (wee~ it's nice to have an assistant! XD) so I've got nothing to do but browse the net and wait for that someone who stays up with me to go OL. ^^

I had a good day! And I wasn't the only one who noticed. Even the people at the office saw the change in me. They said I'm almost back to my old self, haha. I've had every reason to smile. Sales were good, I'm doing a great job (if I may say so myself), and my bosses are pleased with what I'm doing. Wee~ Never mind those people who whispers behind my back. I'm not the one who's not gonna get promoted anyways. *ebul grin*

I woke up late! So I was late for work, haha. I guess I got too tired from the megamall escapade we had. I also stayed up late. I was chatting with ate jen and josh, and I was texting with carlo and haree. And speaking of texts, I did a double take when I looked at my inbox yesterday morning. I had 75 messages in there, accumulated in a span of 12 hours. I didn't realize I'm back to the text-crazy girl I once was! Haha.. I think this is what happens when you don't have someone you can make "kulit" all the time - you text all your friends hoping someone would text back and start a marathon texting session with you! LOL =P But it's not as bad as it sounds, it's actually fun! I got to catch up with a lot of people!

I'm also into expanding my friendster friend network. Yeah, corny! But haven't got anything to do atm, so I might as well connect with old friends and schoolmates! :) And speaking of old friends, it's my other ex's birthday yesterday. I wrote him a testi thanking him for teaching me how to play Red Alert - coz that's what got me hooked to RPG's and eventually online gaming. Hmm.. I wonder how he's doing. I also got a text from my sister, she said she saw my first love yesterday. We never made it as a couple though, too many "What if's" and "Could've been's". He's not as cute as he looked before daw! Maybe because he's already married and has a kid! Haha~ I wonder what he'll say to me when he sees me now..

Lala~

I crashed at Miss Joey's place after my Saturday AM shift. Watched Fun with Dick & Jane and Memoirs of a Geisha on DVD and I started reading Dan Brunstein's book about The Davinci Code. But 5 pages into the first chapter, I fell asleep (because I'm tired, not coz I don't like the book!) and when I woke up it was 11 pm and I have to get ready for work! Good thing I brought clothes with me! Haha~

Anyways, back to topic 'coz I'm starting to blabber. Haha~ I'm just sooo in a good mood. I feel like giving everybody a hug! [xxx]

I know it's a cliche but it's true, there's always gonna be a blue sky after the rain. [Please refer to picture] I think the image was shot out of a window right after the rain fell, when the sky has cleared. That's pretty much how I feel right now [that's why I chose to included it in this entry] The past week has been pretty rough, but things are starting to look up for me. Thanks to all the people who went out of their way to cheer me up :)

Stuck in a Moment

2006-04-29T13:52:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Stuck in a Moment [U2]
..."You've got to get yourself together you got stuck in a moment, and you can't get out of it"..

Last night I didn't cry at all! Wee~ And for the first time in a week I actually made it early for work! LOL XD

Anyways, I was thinking about what I'm gonna do with my life now. And I figured I can't stay like this coz it's not gonna do me any good. Today, I smiled more than I did the past few days. Which really made me happy. Although some people in the office goes out of their way to annoy me, I hardly cared. Carlo was kidding me, he said looks like I was having a good day since I didn't complain to him about me feeling like crap!

Oh well.. I'm tired. I just got home from the mall. There's a three day sale in SM Megamall and it took me almost an hour just to get a ride home!

Also went shopping today! Since it's payday! LOL =P I got me a new shirt from American Eagle, khaki drawstring pants from Banana Republic and a new tote bag! I wonder what it is with shopping that makes women forget about their problems! *Laughs out Loud* Post break-up shopping brings back memories for me! It was the same thing I did when my first bf and I broke up (after being together for 2 yrs). After crying my heart out, I went out to shop too! I was 17 then. Now I'm 21, and I just finished off a 4-year relationship. Whew~ Nothing much has changed - save for the fact that I have more shopping money now that I'm earning my own moolah!

Life goes on. This is how I see the world now.

Anyways, part of the not being stuck in moment scheme I have going is reinventing myself. I was thinking I could overhaul my wardrobe but then again, it's not gonna be me anymore. I wasn't too good at being girly to start with! Maybe when I have time, I'm gonna have something done to my hair. Get a haircut. Whatever.

I gotta sleep, I have work tomorrow at 6 am. I don't wanna be late and upset Chupabz! ^_^

Broken

2006-04-28T10:21:00.000+08:00

Listening to: The First Cut is the Deepest [Sheryl Crow]
..."Coz when it comes to being lucky he's cursed; And when it comes to loving me he's worst.."

Last night was spent tossing and turning, very much like the previous night. Sure, I work the morning shift nowadays, 6 am til 1 pm but when I looked in the mirror today I saw the dark circles under my eyes. And to add to that, my eyes were all puffy from crying myself to sleep.

Heck. I wasn't expecting it to be like this. I thought I'd be OK. It wasn't until two nights ago when I started crying myself to sleep. God, I miss Carlo. And what's ironic is the fact that while I couldn't stop myself from sobbing, Carlo was texting me saying everything's gonna be OK. That we'd be better off as friends - for now.

Things aren't so good in the office as well. Gah! I hate office politics >.< And I know some of my co-workers are saying stuff about me when they think I'm not listening. It's not fair, I'm only doing my job. Sure I'm upset, very much upset about it but right now there's nothing I can do. I just have to ride it out.

I'm gonna admit it. Right now I feel like crap. There's no point in pretending that I'm super, when I really am not. Damn. 4 years down the drain. But I know we didn't totally lose it, we're very good friends. And I'm grateful for that.

On the bright side, I'm looking forward to the weekend. I'm gonna start playing RF again! Weee~ And I also wanna watch Silent Hill. But I have gotta find someone to go with me first! For the first time in 4 years I am actually in need of a date! XD

Happy Thoughts

2006-04-27T09:24:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Fix You [Coldplay]
...And the tears come streaming down your face; When you lose something you can't replace; When you love someone but it goes to waste; Could it be worse?..

Emo mode: God, this song is just killing me right now. Hit me right where it hurts the most! X_x

Today wasn't a good day for me. Too much stuff going on, in my personal life as well as in the office. I need a breather. So I figured instead of wallowing in self-pity, I'd rather think about my happy thoughts - so I came up with this list:

Things That Make Me Happy*

Flowers in the pouring rain
Fireworks
Fireflies
A good book and a good cup of coffee
Foggy nights
Shopping for the perfect gift and wrapping it myself
Watching MTV in the wee hours of the morning
Babies
Hugs and butterfly kisses
Coke with every meal XD
Talking out loud in English when no one is around!
Stargazing
Making Paperboats
Dressing up my avatars
Daydreaming
Being me
Alternative rock music
Crying my heart out to just feel better
Cotton Candy and Popcorn
Making a difference
Recording my singing on my phone!
My alone time with myself doing whatever things
Girly chats with my girlfriends
Writing notes the recipient would never read
Learning new things
My mom's cooking
Sneakers
Vodka Mudshake and Tequila shots
My Timex watch
My Dreamcather necky
Making a wish
Falling stars
Walking along a tree-lined street with leaves falling around me
Firetrees in full bloom
Christmas lights
Snowflakes (when I get the chance to experience it!)
Fairies
Making someone happy

*List is subject to change

Hmm, now that I've had time to think I couldn't actually find a reason why I shouldn't be smiling right now. ^_^

On My Own

2006-04-26T12:34:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Collide [Howie Day]
.. Even the best fall down sometimes; Even the wrong words seem to rhyme; Out of the doubt that fills my mind; I somehow find; You and I collide..

It's been 3 days since Carlo and I broke up. Surprisingly though, I am actually OK. Sure, I've shed my share of post break-up tears but I didn't get my eyes all puffy. My friends wonder how I do it - bouncing back so quickly. And honestly, I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm so fiercely independent that I refuse to be tied down by "just" a break up.

I've had time to think things over, and I have no regrets. We did have our differences. But after all's been said and done, I'm glad we ended up as friends. We still text a lot. It's funny though, the transition was almost seamless. We went from being long-time lovers to being friends in just a snap. And it's ironic coz now that we're no longer together as a couple we stopped arguing about the things that we argued about all the time. XD

Right now, the only people who knows we're no longer together were the poeple from the office and a few guildmates from HOL. His folks and mine don't have the slightest idea. Even both of our sibs don't know it yet. I wonder how I'm gonna break it to them. Even most of our friends don't know it yet! People have been asking me where he is, and I don't know what to tell them! I just give them my usual "He's in Laguna." It's a safe answer, since he really is there and I'm not compromising myself in any way. Right now I am not in the mood to explain to everybody why we broke up.

Anyways, I'm on my own again - after 4 years! And I found that I actually like the feeling of being unattached! I love being free, and being able to do things whenever and wherever I want. Sure, I miss being held by someone who loves me but I've got friends who can always give me a hug to comfort me.

I'm not gonna be a hypocrite and say I don't miss Carlo. 'Coz I do - a helluva lot! I wonder when I'm gonna see him again, and what's gonna happen. He told me he's coming to Manila next week, and he asked if he could see me. I said "Sure"..

Geez.. "I need some distraction, oh beautiful relief.."

That's why I made this new blog! And I'm planning to go back to playing RF, to keep my mind off "things". Also, Miss Joey was asking me if I would wanna take some computer classes in Informatics. Thank God for my friends, my job, and online gaming for helping me keep my sanity!

Lullabye

2006-04-23T19:23:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Let Me Go [3 doors down]
"I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand; You love me but you don't know who I am; So let me go.. "

Lullabye

Little girl stop crying
Close your eyes and worry no more
Think your happy thought
of clouds and stars -
Think not of your broken heart

Little girl stop crying
Let slumber take you
in its velvety arms
Sleep well and sleep tight
For things will look better
In the morning light.

~ Right now I'm at a loss for words. I only have this lullabye to comfort me..