Thinking Out Loud
Tidbits
I am a 24 year old female who still cannot come to call myself as a woman simply because I am like a child in a lot of ways. I am an online gamer and I have a several jobs but I fix people's flights and hotel problems for a living in the real world. I cry over rock songs but I cannot play any instrument. I have people screaming, crying and cursing at me for 40 hours in a week and I can still be nice to people. I suck at doing girly things but I love flowers in the pouring rain. I do not like arguments but I stand fast to my beliefs. I am my own person. I can be your pleasant surprise.
Close All
Sunday, November 26, 2006


Listening to:
Everybody Wants You [Josh Kelley]
You've been bad
You know you've been good
Did you lose your mind
Like a knew you would?

Hmm. It's Thanksgiving Weekend. I didn't have work Thursday and Friday. Watched Happy Feet~ with curby, jeff, allen and joe Thursday evening. Twas fun, fun fun. Lotsa laughs! We watched it twice! Haha. And I want a penguin plushie! But.. erm. nvm.

Tonight I have to work; which is fine by me. It's kinda weird having to spend the whole night alone, coz for the past couple of weeks I had someone with me on YM. I'm not gonna be a hypocrite and I say I don't miss the company, coz I do. But I'll get used to it. Ako pa. I'm always gonna be ok. :) I'm actually on emo mode right now, listening to "the playlist". *Sigh*

Too bad the RF Boards is down. Can't help but think. LOLz. I'm actually happy with the way things are going. Butchy and I are doing well, no more petty fights. Though I don't get to spend as much time with him as I would want to because of my new schedule. Oh well, we're just gonna have to work around it.

Soulrun made it to 44 earlier tonight. But 2.5% to go there was a black out at Ingen. Curby and I ended up having dinner at KFC (our nth KFC meal for the weak!) and Lepp ended up finishing the last 2.5% on my exp bar and almost skipping CW. It's a good thing the power was back up when we finished our meal, we were able to attend Chip Wars. Too bad Bellato lost. Oh well, there's always a next time. And oh! I also got asked out on a date by someone I've known for a long time IG (way before I was BA), and was greeted "happy b-day" on Solus mapchat by [VgD]Praetor though it's not my birthday! All because bluesquall and Hossie decided to pick on me! XD

I was with Stann on YM. And he sent me a copy of the songs he wrote for his Bellato Love Songs Collection. There was this song called "Beautiful" - for Kiboo and pepot11. And there's this song called "Bert, Mai, Souly" - It's about Klein08, Ceraby and me! And it's a mix of English, Tagalog and Malay! I'll post the lyrics and the link when I get the chance. :)

Curby took me home after CW. I was s'posed to sleep. But I found out that I have got to get to work. Hurr ~_~ So much for catching up on sleep.

A lil over an hour after I got home and a few miss sent sms messages later, I went "Wahhhhhhhhhh! Here I go again.." But I'm actually ok with it. It's much better having it out in the open than me having to pretend I don't know and I didn't notice. I'm cool with. Believe me. XD

The past week has been well, quite interesting. I said goodbye to one of the best things that happened to me. And I spent a good part of the week running away from it all. Him, them, myself, my sister, my mom, even from AB's! Just like old times, I turned to RF and friends for comfort. :) Check out the screenshots!

Edit @ 5:52 am: *Kicks Launchcast radio* Why did you have to play those songs? O_o

4:04 AM

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Listening to: Take Me Away [Lifehouse]
Don't give up on me yet
Don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
But don't let me stay here alone ..




somebody told me:

Never leave, never change, smile and always be happy! keep on smiling, never frown, nor cry for someone who doesnt deserve your tears, dnt forget what i told you..coz if you really do something stoopy again.. i really am gonna take you away.

I'm almost back to my old self. *hugs*


6:00 AM

Sunday, November 19, 2006


Listening to: Look What You've Done [Jet]


Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sig for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won


Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone


This is me being stupid. But what's done is done.

6:33 AM

Thursday, November 09, 2006


Listening to:
How to Save a Life [The Fray]

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere
along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed
up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

------------------



My heart is breaking but I am happy. Go figure coz I can't.

Maybe it's just me. And that something in me who wants to save everybody. But I remember half a year ago, a friend told me that sometimes I should stop thinking about other people's happiness and think about myself. After all, I can't save everyone.

So I guess this is it. I'm letting go. It's about time I learn how to let go - first. Now how do I do it? Right now I don't know how. Maybe the next time I write in here I'd know how to . Or maybe, I would've done it already.

11:07 AM

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


Listening to: You Give Me Something [James Morrision]

You want to stay with me in the morning
You only hold me when I sleep,
I was meant to tread the water
Now I've gotten in too deep,
For every piece of me that wants you
Another piece backs away.

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something '
Cause someday I might know my heart.

You already waited up for hours
Just to spend a little time alone with me,
And I can say I've never bought you flowers
I can't work out what the mean,
I never thought that I'd love someone,
That was someone else's dream.

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something,
'Cause someday I might call you from my heart,
But it might me a second too late,
And the words I could never say
Gonna come out anyway.

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something,
'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared, alright,
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try,
Please give me something
'Cause someday I might know my heart.
Know my heart, know my heart, know my heart



*wink*

5:53 PM

Sunday, November 05, 2006


Listening to: Learning to Breathe [Switchfoot]
I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm findin that you, and you alone
Can break my fall..

I'm back to the graveyard shift starting this week - doing verification for the B2B account on weekdays and doing confirmation for the B2C account on Saturday. On the lighter side, I get off work 9am Sunday and will be back at 11pm Tuesday. Not bad. Haha. But I still want my morning shift. I can do more stuff. And play more RF. Haha. Adek amp.

Day after my birthday (Nov 3) I went shopping after work. Haha. Masama kasi loob ko. Toinks. I did some grocery shopping, got a new book, a new shirt, and a necky with my name written in pasta. Early evening Friday I was at LU office in Makati for the RF Leader's Conference. Then I was off to work, which took forever to finish. Saturday I slept for 11 hours! O.o


I now have playlist for Radioblog! w00t~ Thanks to Ash for helping me with it.

Things have been pretty rough with work. I haven't been OL much lately and I miss my IG friends. Err, I got killed by Erzsebet! And uh. Well, I don't wanna talk about it here. It's been one helluva week but I somehow made it through.

And oh. Last night I was dancing in the moonlight. *wink*

7:41 PM

Friday, November 03, 2006


Listening to this, and just lit one candle in a million.


Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday to me..



Haha~



I turned 22 yesterday. Big deal. I didn't get my Birthday wish. Instead I got something I've been wanting for 6 years now (and almost gave up on!). =)



Thanks to all those who remembred. *hugs*

8:25 AM